Friday September 1st 1995. "You must learn the ways of the force, Luke". Yoho chums. Kenz here in the 9th month of the year they call 1995. How does September feel? A bit lumpy. Someone should run an iron over it. (Talk sense Kenz you gonk!) Erm, okay. Once I was in a sort of dressed and walking around state I prepared a bowl of Frosties (tm) and sloshed on some skimmed bull-milk. Yuk! Whatever happened to full-cream, full-fat, full-fakkin-cancer milk?! Plenty of yummy post for me today. It's a pity I haven't got any sodding disks and my tape system is up the swannee isn't it. Shit happens! I actually managed to watch the 'X-Men' today. The telly DID malfunction during 'Stingray' but luckily it came back on before 'Star Trek' started. (It would have been a SHAME if I had to "REPAIR" it ... HEHEHE!). Things began to get pretty damn cool as the day progressed. I got a phone-call from old chum Tim Wright (who did the Beast 2 and Leander music on the miggy). I convinced him to send me some DOSH. Right on! He might be able to put me in touch with Benn Daglish for a CZ article! I ventured up the town in the afternoon and was forced to stand behind a smelly man in the post-office. It was the first time I had to queue for AGES. Trust me to get a real stink-bomb stood in front of me. Once I was back in the FRESH AIR I went to the photocopy place and struck up an EXCELLENT deal for getting 'Commodore Zone' mass printed. It will cost me TEN QUID less than what I had planned for each fifty copies of the mag I get done. I'd better get some flyers posted! Globber!! On the way home I was a girl I sort of knew. I waved at her, she waved at me. What a thrilling moment in my life that really was. Hmmmmm. Once back in the 'tape graveyard' I was busy pithering around when I happened to look out the window. There was a 'Parceline' lorry at the end of the road. Could this be my disks? I spotted a bloke taking a package to the WRONG HOUSE! Nooooo! I quickly donned my trainers and RAN down the road to catch the bloke. As it happened it WAS my package. I now have plenty of blank disks. Phe-ew! I rang up 'Compact Disk Services' today. The new Mark Shreeve album is now available!! It's called Nocturne and it will soon be MINE! HA HARR! Can this day get any better?!?! Actually, it CAN because I had SPARE RIBS & CHIPS for tea. YE-ESSSS! The chips were nice this time too! On that flavoursome note I will get going now. Those spare ribs have made me thirsty so I'm gonna Smurf myself a drink. G'night! From:- Kannon Fodder. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday September 2nd 1995. "Hey diddle diddle, the cat did a piddle." Hallo. Erm, right. What did I get up to today then ... ? Ummm, I got out of bed. Probably not the best way to start the day but most people have got to get out of bed at some point in the day (unless you are an old, smelly, bedridden FOGIE!) Now that I have some disks I actually did some WORK! Yup, on a Saturday too! Yet another heroic act done by Kenzoid. I also floundered around trying to tape some software with my new 'improved' system. I failed miserably. I then tried taping the software using the OLD method and it all worked perfectly. Hmmmm. That means the tapes I posted yesterday probably won't work. Oh dear! I gave Andy Roberts a tinkle this morning (kwerp!) but he had gone swanning off somewhere. Gah! The Batman cartoon was cool today - as per usual. Isn't Harly-Quinn just SO cute?! I just wish I knew how to spell her name ... ! I took 'time-out' from copying software to watch an old film with Sid James in it. Huyaha! (The only funny thing about the film was Sids laugh! - I hope you like my ASCII impression of it - Huyaha!) For todays luncheon I had a beef & tomato 'Pot Noodle'. Bleeeegggggggg. Earlier today I opened a little packet of 'Pork Crackles' and there were only about 3 little crackles in it!! The bag was almost EMPTY! CON! The afternoon was pretty damn similar to the morning. More copying, more mucking around with tapes (I finally got some tapes ready to be posted - after about THREE DAYS!). The film 'Medicine Man' was on tonight (Or 'Medishin Man' as Sean Connery would put it). It's quite an enjoyable jungle romp with a nice bit of totty in it - she had a nice pair of fun-bumps. That is where today ended. I'm going to get me 'ead down now. See ya! From:- Lurdle. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday September 3rd 1995. "Cheerios are really Go-Cat in disguise". Yowzers! Another dayload of events to type up. Got out of the Binary Zone bed and shaved off my Binary Zone beard. I looked like 'Kenz' once more. Now I was ready to do battle with the day ahead. (Eh?). As I'm a glutton for punishment I decided to get TWO tapes sorted out. One was a 60 minute audio jobbie (fnoot!) for Levi Jack and one was a compilation of adventures for William Quinn. By the end of the day BOTH of the tapes were practically finished!! Yippee! I've still got to sort out inlays for both of them and make a copy of the adventures tape mind you. A job for tomorrow methinks. It was a bit of a bast doing the audio tape because I had to tape everything onto video and then back onto another tape. TIIIMMMEEE CCCOOONNSSSUUUMMMIIINNGGGG. The finished tape was pretty froopy though. I had to change it at the last minute because I had a quick chat with Levi and he reminded me of some stuff he wanted on it. Oo-ee-oo, I should be getting a tape from him next week! I had to cook myself some dinner today so for my Sunday lunch I had pizzas and chips. Ambitious or what?! There was a great Michael Caine film on which I watched while I chomped my grub. I don't know what it was called though. (The film silly, not my grub). Andoodle Rooble rang me in the afternoon. His mom told him that someone called 'Greg' phoned. Hmmm. Greg must be an anagram of Jason or something. Anyway, Andy said he'd post the Galway menu this week. Choice! He then unleashed the bad news that he couldn't get ANY pics of the beautiful Gillian Anderson. I was gutted and comitted suicide instantly - almost. Frostie also rang and told me he'd be posting some delectable C64 warez in the week. Excellent! He's sending me probably one of the BEST demos to be released this year. GIBBER! I canna wait Captain! I gave Jaz Kelk a ring and enthused about all the swag I will be receiving (and then sending him) next week. That made him mucho happy. As he's on holiday next week I'll try to get some goodies to him as soon as poss. He wants to include an interview with Russ Michaels in issue 2 of the mighty 'Commodore Zone'. Oww! I've got 'Trench Back' so I'm not going to type any more. Gubbye. From:- Greg. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday September 4th 1995. "Lleaping Llamas!" Wotcha! Yurg, it's MONDAY! Oh well, there's not much I can do about that is there? (Except maybe wait for Tuesday ... ?) The morning was spent hoying CZ flyers into envelopes and sorting out BZ orders. You know, the usual stuff. I also sorted out the CZ labels. I had to measure and stick EVERY SINGLE ONE onto a separate piece of paper. What an absolute joy that job (knim!) really was. (Aaaarrrrgh!) I just about got all my photocopy masters ready before din-dins time. Guess what I had for lunch? Bleggy sandwiches AGAIN. Mundane food is PANTS if you ask me - and I know you jolly well DIDN'T ask me at all! I departed the house in the afternoon and then promptly turned round because I'd forgotten both my wallet and keys. I was about halfway up the town when I remembered that I had also forgotten all my stuff to be photocopied!! EBOING! CHEST THUMP! FLY SWAT! DROOL! I really couldn't be bothered to walk back home so I decided to post my bits and delay sending the packages that needed the photocopy bits. The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. Buck Rogers was on in the evening. He was fighting with a large hairy person with bad teeth! The sodding excellent 'X-Files' was also on today. Scully actually DIDN'T give me the fakkin 'orn today for five good reasons:- 1) She wasn't in the episode all that much. 2) She cut up a dead body (crunch! crack! ribs!) 3) She didn't take her clothes off at any point. 4) There was a lot of stinky SEWAGE in this episode. 5) There was a huge monster turd creature with bits of sweetcorn in it (and bean-skins). After the 'X-Files' had finished I rang Colit. We discussed nasty brown things in the lav and arranged a Birmingham trip for next week. Kewl. I must remember NEVER to use a toilet again. You never know what might be living down there. I'll have to chob out of the window or sommat! On that savoury note I'll BEGONE! Ciao! From:- Fox Mulder. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday September 5th 1995. "Cheeling Pillies". Eeeh by eck! What a DAY! Mucho kewl happenings for Kenzo. Despite a dodgy nights sleep (I was COLD!) things were instantly 'cool and the gang' because I got a LARGE amount of post. I use the word LARGE literally because the biggest jiffy bag in the WORLD was amongst my post! The jiffy was from Waz. It contained Mark Shreeve's FIRST PROPER ALBUM!! Yup, I now own 'Thoughts Of War' on vinyl which was released in 1981! It only cost £3.49!! Glibble! Interesting bit of techno-trivia - Mark Shreeves ADDRESS is on the back of the album! I now know where he was living 14 years ago! (Oh, I'm SURE he's still at that addy now ... Arf!) Tim Wright rang me and I reassured him that his meaty (and a bit grubby) order arrived safely. He unleashed a cool bit of info onto me:- The phone number of BEN DAGLISH! I rewarded him with Martin Galways EMAIL address. (What's my name? Barry Leitch?!) I ventured up the town and actually REMEMBERED to take my photocopies with me. Yaay! I purchased a bag of crackles from the super-duper market and got served by a pretty girly. I then bumped into Rich who told me he had 'Primal Rage' for his SNES!! I think a big gaming session needs to be arranged for some point in the NEAR future! While we were chatting this VERY pretty girl went past with beatifully formed orbs thrusting against her white top. SLOBBER!! In the evening I prepared some interview questions for Ben Daglish, plucked up a bit of courage and RANG HIM! What a nice bloke! We had a good natter about the '64 and he answered ALL my interview questions! I need to spend some time tidying up his replies because I was typing what he was saying with my LEFT HAND and the end result was a bit of a mess to say the least! (I SPOKE TO BEN DAGLISH!) After the call I rang Jon Wells and he was AMAZED that I had got in touch with Ben! I then realised I didn't mention 'Last Ninja' in the interview. Doh!! (I SPOKE TO BEN DAGLISH!) Mat rang me later on while I was blasting WE Music tunes out of my stereo. We mused about when exactly I'd be visiting him next. I told him I was on my way, I was waiting for the techtonic plates to move me towards his house. Oh ho! (You had to be there to appreciate that 'slow movement' gag). (I SPOKE TO BEN DAGLISH!) And that was when this great day ended. Much fun! Seeee ya! (I SPOKE TO BEN DAGLISH!) From:- BEN DAGLISH!! (I SPOKE TO BEN DAGLISH!) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday September 6th 1995. "Yoo doity rats". Hello. How are you? Me? Oh, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. (Cobblers). This morning involved the usual stuff. More catalogues, flyers and BZ goodies were lobbed into envelopes. The 'fun-o-meter' regiestered zero throughout the morning. Yawn. Andrex Spandoid rang today. We had a good old natter about the usual pot-pourri of subjects. Not content with the usual banter he FARTED loudly down the phone. Mucho chortling ensued. I must get that vid tape sorted out for Andy ... I'll make a mental note of that. I'm afraid that's all you are going to get from me today. I've got better things to do than sit here writing this PIFFLE. Don't cry though, I will return tomorrow with more gobshite for ya. Adios Amiga. From:- Gee Keith. P.S. Typing error of the day - I typed PIDDLE instead of PIFFLE originally! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday September 7th 1995. "Colletts underpants speak out". Lumme! I don't know what was wrong with me today but I did a LOT of work. There was an impressive bundle of packages ready to be posted by the end of the day. Lucky recipients of a BZ bundle were:- Waz P, Danny G, Tim Wright and quite a few other funsters. Phew! That's a weight off my in-tray. That little lot took me aaaaalllll morning. For some strange reason the Zone seemed 'creepy' today. The air and everthing was sort of damp (nearly). I dunno, clammy. It was very strange indeed. It's difficult to explain so I WON'T! HAHA! In the dafternoon I got a lift up town. Lucky old me haad juuuust had enough dosh to do the stuff which had to be done. Oh yeah, I had a good flirt with bird in post-office. I had a really deelish tea tonight. It was a mountain of rice, chilli, and superb-noodles! Later on I cobbled together a package for Jaz Kelk and had a chat with him on the plastic telecommunication device. That just about sums up today. I'm going to deflate the tyres on some wheelchairs now. Until tomorrow it's bye-bye for now! From:- 'SUPER-K*NT!' -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday September 7th 1995. "50 yards down the road ... PLOP" F.F.F.Friday ... F.F.F.F.f*ck off! I re-spooled my first video tape today! My 'Rambo 3' got glarged yonks ago so I dismantled the tape and repaired the sucker. It's as good as new now (albeit with a chunk of sticky tape added to the start!) Morning ... Work (with a bit of Sonic 2 thrown in). Dinner ... Pizzas and chips. NICE. Afternoon ... More work. Ho hum. Andy rang up today. He finally got to meet Tim wright (or was it Ash Hogg?!) He confirmed that Tims massive package reached him. Good one! Andy told me a witty yarn about his night out on the piss. That's what todays opening quote is about. I had some absolutely slavvertasticdroolmongous grub for my tea. It was a sort of 'tikka' style thing with super-nurdles and naaaaarn bread. At long last I have got to see the film 'Death Becomes Her'. The film takes a while to get going but when it does it's pretty neat. ILM kick ass with some flawless effects. Went to bed after that. I was tired. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?! No? Oh, soz! Snoozle! From:- Some f*kka. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday September 9th 1995. "Mix a packet of super noodles with Alpen" It's splatterday! (No, I haven't got dioarrhorreahoa, I was trying to be FUNNY ALRIGHT?) Enough mindless blathering. Lets get down to the shitty nitty gritty. I dragged myself out of bed and transformed myself from a slimy pit-beast into Kenz (a conscious slimy pit-beast). For brekkie I crunched my way through some frosted chex (chexcellent) and began the day in ernest. (Sounds a bit rude). I received something AWESOME in todays post. It was the new Mark Shreeve album!! It's called 'Nocturne' and it's a tad good. When I first played it I was surprised to hear tracks that I was already familiar with (they feature on those promo catalogue wotsit CD's I bought) but they are remixed so well they kick ARSE! The first two main tracks are absolutely CLASSIC! One of the tracks actually features SINGING which took a bit of getting used to. WEEEIIIRD! (but cool). There was a gladiators wotsit on the telly and I taped Jet! She looked GUCKING FORGEOUS! Some good chortles muso-video footage there. I then watched the Batman cartoon which was pretty neat. No curvy cartoon chicks though. Ho hum. Lunchtime leaped from behind a chair and surprised me. I fought off my hunger with a 'pot-noodle'. It started off as a 'pot-bland' but got more tasty as I neared the bottom of the pot. Yummola. At long last they are showing Airwolf again!! One of my BZ members rang me and asked me to tape it for him which was no problem as I was going to tape it anyway! I can't wait to see some of the episodes again, it's been YEARS since I've seen them. Why the frig do they use speeded up footage in that program. It does NOT need it. Airwolf looks so great they don't need to fart around with the film to make it go faster. Fume! After Airwolf there was the first episode of a new series called 'Thunder in Paradise'. F*CKING HELL!! Forget Baywatch! I couldn't believe my eyes! There was a beach full of utter babes, a VERY classy chick walking around in her white lingerie (Phwoooar! Ag! Ag!) and tits, tits, TITS! The program also featured the largest human being I've ever seen. This real GIANT of a bloke was throwning Hulk Hogan around. He was bloody HUGE! Me and Kev had a real hoot at that, we couldn't believe what we were seeing! (Was he done with special fx or something?!?!). In the evening we drove out to get some nosh and hired a couple of vids. The first film watched was 'Sleepless in Seattle' (yawn, slop, drivel, no tits, spaceships or robots) and then we watched 'Reservoir Dogs'. I didn't think it was that good. It was an early version of 'Pulp Fiction' but not as cool and the gang. Guess what happened after that? Snore! ZzZzZz! From:- King Dong. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday September 10th 1995. "This diary is a bowlful of skids". Hallo to all you fiddlybibbly readers! It was a tad misty and COLD this morning. A taste of things to come what with Winter looming. I think I preferred it HOT (and spicy). I can practically see those tight tops being put away for the chilly season (not that I actually OWN any tight tops of course). This morning was spent doing a 90 minute audio tape for Betrayer. I taped him some of the new FeekZoid tunes I've got and will bung his tape in the post to him this week along with some new C64 swag. It was time for a scrammy Sunday lunch by the time Betrayers tape was sorted. I had chicken today. Bok bok etc. After I had done the drying up I decided to shoot some BZ members (Huh huh! Members!). Yessum folks, it was MAILSHOT time. I got over 20 letters ready in the course of the afternoon. I did have a little break at one point and watched Bullseye. (I am old, I am senile, I am a pensioner etc). 20 'CZ' flyers will not a fortune make. I must send out MOOORE! Sloboo! While I worked I blasted out some tracks from the new Shreeve album. My Mom complained about the noise at one point. Tchoh! Parents! No appreciation of REAL music. In the evening I watched "You've been framed" which was a hoot and I tinkered (not tinkled) on the Amiga. I also had a natter on the phone with Tony Gibbs but he had to rush off because he needed a wee-wee (or a tinkle/slash/piss/pee). And that was today. What have I got to show for getting out of bed? 24 letters ready to posted and a tape filled with FeekZax for Betrayer. NOT BAD! Word of the day:- "Wang" (E.G. "I'll wang one in the post to ya"). I'm going away now. Goodbye. From:- Translucent filled vectors. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday September 11th 1995. "First there was 'Sonic the hedgehog' ... Now there's 'Rip the piss'!" Yaaawn. Oops, sorry about that, I just did a big yawn as I started to do this diary. I'm not saying that today was a bore, in fact, it was pretty funky. Postie brought me some CA$H which was nice. There was a couple more orders for 'Commodore Zone' so I decided to frape up the town straight away and get the first FIFTY copies of the mag done. I steamed into the photocopy place and the fat bloke (Ian) set the machine off. While it was churning out my little magette I went and posted the bits I prepared yesterday, joked with the girl who served me and then explored the town. When I returned to the photocopy place my mags were all done. Then something SKILL happened. Ian let me use their binding machine for FREE! It automatically folded and centre stapled all my mags! YESS! Not only did I get coloured card for FREE but I also got that extra bonus of the free binding. That saved me around 30 smackers! SMART! I returned home with a big box full of 'Commodore Zones' and I was filled with glee. I then cleared off some workspace and added a glossy cover to the first 14 mags. They look niiiiice. Then it was time for some nosh. I scoffed a pot-noodle which was rather tasty but it did NOT fill me up. Gragh! I spent the afternoon copying a few bits and bobs for my trusty BZ members. I also started work on the new version of 'BZT003 - Demomania!' because I'm going to have to send someone a copy of it soon. Didn't get much done though. BLAG! Buck Rogers was pretty pooey tonight. X-Files wasn't bad. Scully looked "tasty" (as quoted in the episode). I still love that woman. Dunno why. Must dash now, I've got to see a man about some kettles. See ya! From:- Lucky gonk. P.S. Fart! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday September 12th 1995. "90 year old bag". Hiiiiyaaaaaaaaa! (Hmmm, I sounded like Bruce Lee then). Here I am AGAIN with more mindless banter for you class 5 humanoids to inwardly digest. How can I start yet ANOTHER diary entry? Oh, I already have. Wooo! Thank Crom for that. (Kenz, you're rambling) The day began in the usual fashion with me getting out of bed. Good stuff. I also washed, got dressed and had a bowl of 'ASDA' Frosties. I ate the dregs of the box and I'm afraid I must report that they were PUTRID! (I considered typing f*ckING before PUTRID but it takes more than a mere box of cereal to make me exclaim the F-Word). I hit the town early once again and paid some squires into the bank. I then purchased a birthday prezzie for my Nan and some purty wrapping paper. I also bought a beef curry for my din-dins, some sellotape (hello tape) and other odds 'n sods (from an odds 'n sods shop). Here's an interesting piece of irony for ya. There were two points in the day where I was unable (or unwilling) to answer the phone if it had rang. The first was when I sat down with a large plate of beef curry and super noodles and the second was when I left the house to collect my little brother from school. Of course, the phone rang at exactly that moment on both occasions. SOD IT! When I went to collect my little brother I got to follow the elven beauty all the way home. She was wearing a long skirt which you could see the outlines of her legs through when the light struck it. (HUBBAHUBBA!) She actually walked past my house for the first time EVER. Don't know why. God, she is LOVELY ... A dusky, gorgeous, pouting, nubile, thrusting BABE! Some of the afternoon was spent battling with the new version of 'BZT003'. I didn't get very far with it AGAIN though. What am I like? (Don't answer that!) Yipppeeee! I went to the PUB in the evening. I felt right at home while I skulled grog and ogled two tasty chicks who worked there. Then it was BAR MEAL TIME so I had a deelish chicken balti and large wodge of naaaaaan bread which filled my guts (and busted them!) Nowt else happened (except sleep). ZzZzZz. From:- Hong Kong Phooey. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday September 13th 1995. "It's not the batter that counts, it's what's inside". Hells fangs, After decontaminating myself in the bathroom I got ready for a trundle up the town. Once I was exploring the heaving metropolis known as Droitwich I met up with that 'Mike' being. I then drew some sheets out of the bank and gave them instantly to Mike. Easy come, easy go. Oh well, at least that's a nagging debt paid off. Once the usual town type stuff was out the way I went with Mike to the Mike HQ. Spent most of the day on the PC! Windows 95 is pretty cool I spoze ... Hmmmmm. I had lots of fun playing 'Terminal Velocity'. What a GREAT game. It's like 'Magic Carpet' in space! Excellent! Me and Mike watched Bad influence. It was utter SHITE today and Mike was complaining LOUDLY about it. That program should have been called Bad Effluence! HEHEHOHOHAHAHOOT! I got home just in time for Star Trek. It was pretty good but it was an episode I'd seen many times before (I bought it see!). And that's all you are getting from me. T.T.F.N. From:- Kolin Bell. (Eming! Eeeee Kenz! Gotta get some games!) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday September 14th 1995. "Please abuse the pistcode". Hello again my friends, welcome to another day of Kenz Kapers. I was up somewhat early today (8:00am) because the builders were returning to fix our 'new' front door. The little bugger was getting tricky to close so the builders were going to correct that flant. They arrived, fixed the door and left. They had finished and gone by the time I went downstairs for my brekkie! (That meant there was NO NEED for me to get up early!) Bwoo! As I was up and around I decided to hoy some copies of 'Commodore Zone' into envelopes. That was when I got a phonecall from Tony Gibbs. He was DELIGHTED with his copy of the mag but the coverdisk was shagged. AAAAAAAAARGH! Why couldn't everything have worked for a change?!?! At that moment in tyme Collett arrived at the Zone. I spent a few moments blasting Shreeve music at him and some Babylon 5 sounds. He seemed quite impressed. Without further ado we departed from the Zone and headed for the TRAIN STATION! Oo-ee-oo! BIRMINGHAM HERE WE COME!! After the usual hour or so of train travel we began or assault on that huge city. I quickly spied blank tapes and other bits I needed but nothing vastly exciting. For lunch we hit the Burger King and I tried a 'Double Whopper Meal'. It was a huge motherhubbard of a burger which I quickly consumed. Instead of fries I had these battered worm things which were well tasty (unlike the female serving staff). With stuffed stomachs we then visited heaps of shops. I couldn't find ANY pics of my beloved Dana Scully (blub! cry! sob!) so I will have to try those mail-order places I spoze. By the end of the day I was weighed down with MUNDANE ITEMS. Here's what I bought:- 1 x roll of adhesive stuff. 1 x issue of 'Sky' magazine (NOT mundane). 3 x blank 180 video tapes. 5 x replacement CD cases. 6 x C60 cassettes. 10 x C90 cassettes. (In case you are interested, Collett bought a mag, the 'Conan' soundtrack and the 'Babylon 5' CD). The 'Sky' mag had got Anna Friel on the front and inside there's TOPLESS PICTURES OF HER! (She's got her arms covering her fun-bumps though) ... Swoon! Horn! Sloooooo! A bloody knackering return to Droitwich followed and Collett zzoomed back to his own abode. I sorted out the bits I had bought and put some of my CD's into the replacement cases. The old knackered cases are RIFLE FODDER! Oh yeah, There was a cool program about SNAKES on tonight. Just thought I'd mention that. Vipers are mean little bleeders ain't they?! Cobras are COOL (in a nasty way). Me old mate Tim Wright rang me in the evening. He gave me the phone number of Andy Braybrook (woo!), Martin Galway (coo!) and Rob Hubbard (gibboo!) What a good chap. I then rang Jason Kelk and enthused about all that. He too was delighted with his copy of 'Commodore Zone' but his coverdisk was knackered too. ARSE!! And that brings us right up to date. I'm going to hit the sheets now because I'm TIRREEEEDDDD! Night night. From:- Anaconda. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday September 15th 1995. "Shut your maaaaaaaaaf!" Yippee! For the first time in YONKS I had had the opportunity to do some WORK! Yup, there were NO visitors planned and I didn't go out anywhere. So what exactly went wrong? Why didn't I get any packages posted? HmmMMmmMMmm. Well, it's like this:- I WAS BUSY WORKING ON A BLOODY TAPE!! I decided not to do ANY work until side A of the remastered 'BZT003' was FINISHED. Unfortunately, this took until 3pm to do. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Once I had got it finished I then checked out a package I received from Frostie this morning. It contained the 100% version of 'Tower Power' (it IS better! Amazing music too!), a slideshow called 'Shid' which contains some of the BEST digitised pics I've ever seen on the C64 and 'Eiger' from Nipson which is NOT as good as the demos from Reflex but it does contain some of the BEST digitised anims I've seen on the C64. I was then given the nasty task of HOOVERING THE HOUSE. f*ck my luck. I was NOT in the mood for housework but as we all pitched in it only took a couple of hours. As a reward we had a BALTI for tea. YUUUUM! All that tidying knackered me so I flopped into bed after that. I guess that's all I have report. See ya! From:- Electrolux. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday September 16th 1995. "Tea out of nose". Blig blag blegggg! This morning I decided to give my tape dupilcating system a kick up the arse and get some 'CZ' covermounts sorted as well as an adventure tape which some chap has been waiting for. I fiddled around with my old C64 and it seemed to be functioning okay. By the end of the day I had FOUR 'CZ' covermounts' ready to be be tested along with the aformentioned adventure compi. Nice one. The Batman cartoon was ACE (old phrase inc) this morning. Cat Woman and BatGirl teamed up for a fun-bump convention! Cartoon-Shwiiing! The Gladiators 'train to win' thing was pretty neat too. ** JET! ** I also managed to get a couple of packages ready and had some severe FUN battling with my manky 1541 disk-drive which is playing up at the moment. I need some MORE blank disks. I also need some MONEY to pay for them. C'mon BZ members, send me some DOSH! For lunch I had a 'bung & onion roll' (bung = cheese by the way). The afternoon was spent taping Airwolf and Thunder in Paradise. The classy bit of totty was showing off her orbs in that episode. It's a pity the programme is such an unrealistic crock of SH*T isn't it?! I fancied a game of 'Thunderhawk' after watching Airwolf but it wangled just as I took off. Mutter! Curse! 'Crocodile Dundee' was on in the evening so I taped it for two reasons:- 1. Linda Kozlowswokqwertyuiopkantski. 2. I like the music at the end. Did I watch it? NOOOooooOOOOooooo. I was too busy eating a mountain of chips with southern fried chicken. We had a BANQUET of the stuff for tea because we had 'Forrest Gump' and 'Clear and present danger' on video to watch. 'Forrest Gump' was, erm, NICE. A very pleasant story with ILM delivering flawless effects. They are getting so good it's hard to know what they actually DID these days. Did that bloke REALLY have no legs?? 'Clear and present danger' was rather good too. Some GREAT explosions and gunfights in it. Me like that. Between those two films I had a phone-chat with Jason Kelk and Mat Recardo. I gargled some tea while I was chatting to Mat. The gargle went wrong. That explains todays opening quote! Gubye! From:- Krocodile Kenzdee. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday September 17th 1995. "He's playing with his sax". Hallo again friends, enemies, whatever. Here's some more mindless waffle for you to laugh loudly at. Don't forget to shout 'OOOYA! OOOYA!' at some elderly passers by when you have read todays illogical banter. Hmmm. My head felt a bit, erm, BAD throughout most of today. Don't you just hate having a headache? I bloody do and I'm not much use when I've got one so if you expect lots of text today then you can naff off to tomorrows jany zapery OKAY?! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, SUNDAY. Well basically, most of today was dominated with me playing DUNE II on the mig-mog. (Yep, even with a bad head!) I kicked the computers arse (as usual). I'm pretty damn good at that game even if I do say so myself! Brag! Gloat! Doh, I can't write this stuff with a skonned brew (bad head), I'm going to go away right now. Come back when I'm better y'hear? Bye then! From:- Anadin. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday September 18th 1995. "There are two red-heads in my life ... Scully and Dr Bev". Gawsh! Another flippin' flappin' diary to do. What the frig is going on? 3 measly quid through the post? Not good. On a much lighter note though I received SIX DISKS of music from Tim at Psygnosis. Highlights of the package were the unreleased Beast 2 title tune and the LOVELY music for Magicians Castle. I also received the modules that were used in 'Microcosm' on the Mega Seedy! Tim tells me that only me an him own the Amiga mods! WooEEoo! While I was enjoying the music that Tim sent I also got a few more copies of 'CZ' ready to be posted. What with the work I did yesterday there was now one huge motherhumper of a pile of post on my shelf! This called for a journey up the town. It cost me £4.50 to post all my stuff today!! Argargle! While I was up the town I chucked a FEW sheets into the bank (half the amount I needed to!), reserved a copy of the 'Lion King' on video for little bruv and got a couple of copies done. I then shuffled off to collect little bruv from school. I did see HER and she flashed her eyes in my direction for about a millionth of a second. Sadly, I am no closer to breaking into her knickers. BOO HOO! I whiled away the rest of the afternoon playing DUNE II! Zap! Blast! Bomb! Glarge! Attack! Much fun and joy and happiness! After that, more Dune II! Bomb! Shoot! Blommo! Ker-BANG! Ey up, I noticed a HUGE advert in the 'Sky Magazine' for 'S & P Parker'. They are the dudes that supply cool framable pics. SCULLY ALERT! A letter is going off to them TOMORROW! Talking of Scully, she didn't really give me the fakkin 'orn today. Why? Because she was wearing a plastic bag on her head whilst handling human organs. GUMPH! After I had watched 'X-Files', EVEN MORE DUNE II! CRASH! BANG! WALLOP! Overload of destruction ... Need sleep. Bed! CUL8R. From:- Baron Vladimir Harkonnen (floating fat man). -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday September 19th 1995. "We'll bin Ron off at the Legion and get the ale in" (Classic Bev quote). DING DONG! That was the first sound I heard today. It was the postie delivering a recorded delivery package for MEE! It contained a video, a blank tape and three shiny gold coins from my new buddy Levi Jack. The video is filled with funky coin-op music! There's SIX HOURS OF IT!! And from what I've heard of it so far it's a bit good - I.E Film CD soundtrack quality. The blank tape is going to contain lots of C64 zax, the three quid is for 'Commodore Zone' and I'm also going to send him my 'Xmas Chortles' movie as a swap for the vid. I hope his sense of humour can cope! Much of this morning was spent stuffing one or two catalogues into envelopes while blasting out the coin-op music. I just can't believe the quality!! It's FAB! While I was waiting for my waffles and chicken quarterpounder to cook I tapped out a letter to S & P Parker. It enthused about previous pictures I bought from them and hinted that I would like to have a sexual encounter with Gillian Anderson. Nuff said. I then strolled up the town, posted my stuff, got a catalogue copied and then went to collect my little bruv. Didn't see Elven Beauty! :( Much taping then ensued. I copied a load of zax onto video and then crafted an audio epic for Andcuff Sploodle. It's his birthday on Thursday so I want to get a jiffy-blag (blag?) to him by then. The pressures on! (I've had vindaloos!) OoOoOwWw! I've been hunched over recording gear all afternoon and evening and my back is giving me some gip. I'm off to bed to straighten my spine a bit! Stay well, be happys. From:- Quazimodo. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday September 20th 1995. "He'd go off his mong" (Classic Bev quote 2). Wotcha. Welcome to more diary type poo. It must be said that this room is a bloody MESS at the moment. (Not literally - I don't live in an abbatoir). Gawd, I am TIRED. I guess this is because I woke up at just before 7am this morning. Why? Becoz I'm stoopid. This morning was devoted to crafting a massive amount of goofies (another great typing error there, hope you enjoyed it) for Android Robot. It's his burpday tomorrow so I thought I'd send him lots of the bits I owe him to coincide with it. Here's a list of the extravagant amount of swag I sent him:- A 'HeroQuest' hologram. A 'no worries' Pritt-Stick badge (why)? A little silver motorbike (which you get on birthday cakes). A slimy 'Biker Mice From Mars' snot-sweetie. A fun-sized mars bar *. A hilarious birthday card (?). A clinically strange plastic alien sportsman. A 60 minute tape filled with 'choice audio bits'. An amiga disk containing PlaySid chewnz and the fabby HippoPlayer. Commodore Zone - Issue #$01. Commodore Zone - Issue #$01 coverdisk. Tower Power 100%. * (debt repaid! YEEHEE! Andy wanted a King Sized one! - Fnarble!) Phew! I was STARVING by the time all that lot was cobbled together. I spotted some tasty looking roast beef (curtains) in the fridge yesterday and I was REALLY looking forward to roast beef sarnies today. When I got to the fridge it was *GONE*! Blub! Trivia tit-bit. Andy sent me a huge motherhumper of a package which I received today but I didn't get the chance to have a good look through it until much later in the day. This is because I was putting together a package for HIM! Woboo! Urbled up the town to post Andys big one (kwoop!) and I also collected the Lion King video I orderded yesterday and had a light-hearted banter with the nice girly who served me. I made sure I got a FREE MUG! Mission accomplished, little bruv will be well pleased (I actually showed the mug to the blonde crumpet in the post-office - I don't get it out for anybody!). While I walked back through the park this huge gang of chisels came towards me. Luckily, a girl I know was with them and she said hello. That probably saved me from a kicking ... Arf! I'd have chinned them all anyway, I'm dead hard me! (OoOoOo-EeEeRrRr!) The rest of the afternoon was spent going through the bits that Andy sent and doing some taping for Levi Jack. Andy Robcheese did actually ring today. I didn't mention a massive mothership of a package was on its way to him so he will get a nice (?) surprise in the morning (please get there on time package!). I bet he thinks I forgot all about his birthday! Titter! Brookside was interesting tonight. All the girls were taking their clothes off. Hmmmm. The sight of Rosie in her undies does NOT invoke the horn. Classic hoot of the day - The pic of Dale Winton that was on the back of the package I got from Andy. Slay! Laugh out loud! I'm going to bed now to read more of the second Buck Rogers novel. It's actually quite entertaining - almost. See ya! From:- Uncouth youth. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday September 21st 1995. "Huge fat bastard woman" (Referring to Bella Emburg). Greetings pants-people. Something a bit unusual happened last night while I was in bed (a trillion obscene things instantly spring to pervy readers mind). There I was, sniggled (sniggled?!?!) SNUGGLED in the Binary Zone bed when suddenly the room FILLED with light and a weird noise came from ABOVE the house. "This is it" I thought, "the little green men have come for me". I quickly considered ringing Scully but then I realised:- 1. I don't have her number. 2. She lives in America. 3. She does not ACTUALLY investigate the paranormal. 4. It was a only a helicopter outside. I blundered downstairs to see what the flying (literally) f*ck was going on (in the dark too - am I brave or what?!) The big chopper (the one hovvering outside, not my winkie) had a really powerful searchlight on and was probing all the gardens. I was going run outside waving and lobbing the v's while shouting "You'll never take me alive coppa, see!" but I'm not THAT daft (when sober). This palava went on for over half an hour. I soon tired of the whole escapade and went back to bed for some KIP. I wish I hadn't though. When I woke up I had a complete and utter COLD! Sniffle! Snot! Cough! etc. I was sort of almost determined not to let my cold get me down so I busied myself preparing copies of 'Commodore Zone' to be posted. They all had covertapes so they will cost a small fortune to post. I've only got about two quid to my name at the moment and my Mom borrowed that! (The two quid, not my name). By the time I was ready to go up the town I also crafted a package for the Wazlet. I scribbled a quick note on a compliments slip instead of printing one because I've got a dribbly cold OKAY?! The town was quite uneventful apart for a healthy showing of breastage due to the bakingly beautiful weather we've had today. TIIIIIIIIIITS (and the occasional midriff too! Yum!) I watched that 'Total Reality' computer shite show later on. There were actually TWO interesting bits in it - a guided tour around Future Publishing and a Mark Shreeve track! "Commodore Format - R.I.P". I then settled down with a huge plate of spaghetti bolognoise and (raised a family?) munched heartily while observing 'The Lion King' for the first time. Disney once agains strikes with flawless animation and boppy songs. The stampede scene is AWESOME! Highly realistic with amazing attention to detail. Cool. Andle Bars rungded up afterwards. He DID receive his monster biffy-jag and seemed rather amused with its mass of contents. I snurfled down the phone for a while due to my pigging cold and made yet another mental note to botch together 'Caravan Capers 2'. I must get it done, I MUST! Nowt else to report. Sling yer 'ooks until tomorrow. From:- Nutty Ned. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday September 22nd 1995. F.f.f.f.f.riday.f.f.f.kinell! Launched myself into the day by simply getting out of bed! Clever eh? That foiled several 'kipper related' attempts at world domination I can assure YOU Mrs Knobwedge. Return those tadpoles IMMEDIATELY! Hmmm. Postie brought me various LITTLE orders so I spent a chunk of the morning conjuring blank disks out of THIN AIR! Yes my dear friends, I have run out of disks AGAIN. Lucky old me did manage to find some usable ones. Yippy yup. I guess I'll be ordering some more disks next week. Should be a laugh. (?!?!) For my din-dins I had a bowl of soup which had bits floating in it. Hmmm. Note:- It is NOT possible to spread a dairylea triangle onto a slice of bread which has been defrosted in the freezer. Does anyone else in this world actually FREEZE loaves of bread like we do?!?! After luncheon I managed to put an entire catalogue into an envelope!! And then I went and POSTED IT! What an EFFORT! What a HERO! etc. The afternoon was frittered away watching claggy kids programmes. Yawn. Pizzas and chips for tea! Yippee! Pizzas and chips for tea! Yippee! In the evening I had a neural overload by continuing to sit in front of that glowing box (a nuclear fanny?). There was quite a good lineup of progs so here's what I watched:- 1. Brookie - That bird, Sarah, has got BIG KNOCKERS. 2. Ellen (One Night Stand) - She looks dead cute with longer hair. 3. Who's line is it anyway - Funny as usual. That fat guy is a GRIN! 4. Vic & Bobs new game show - HOOT! What a bizarre half hour. 5. Passengers - Some nice porno-esque pics of Beth livened up a dull show. 6. Some shitty Jonathan Woss crap. 7. The start of a shitty B-Movie thing. Coolest thing of the day. When Ulrika Jonsson skulled a pint a lager on Vic & Bobs show. She downed it in ONE! Gunfight! From:- Super-imposed Man. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday 23rd September 1995. "Friggy shit cakes". Hobla! What an action packed epic day - someone else probably had. As for me, not much occurred I'm afraid. Soz ... I guess I should tell about my day anyway - that's what this diary doobie is all about. After removing my zombie disguise I pottered around the Zone for a while before selecting an overdue project to concentrate on. I decided to finish off the audio tape which I was supposed to post to Levi Jack YESTERDAY!! Oopy! It took QUITE A WHILE but in the end Side B looked ship shape and Bristol fashion. (No, it didn't look like TITS!) Before I knew it, my tummy was rimbling. Time to scoof some dosh. (That line was based on mis-types by Professor Andrew Roberts). After munching through a nice plate of CHIPS with SPICY CHICKEN THINGS (And an episode of Star Trek TNG which I watched, not consumed) I then zoomed out of the house. Why? Because I wanted to buy some Super Nurdles for my tea but I only had half an hour before Airwolf started! Yeek! I pegged it down to a shop which was a lot further than I remembered. They only had Italian flavoured noodles! That won't compliment the chicken tikka I've got for tonight! Nooo. And to make things worse the ugly, thicko bag who was serving at that shop had no change. The one item I did buy (some fairy liquid - coz we've run out of it) caused much pithering for that DUMB SLAG! DILEMMA! I needed some curry noodles - QUICKLY! I vragged to the nearby Kwik Save and found some. PHEW! I also grabbed a can of the real thing and then went wee-wee-wee-wee all the way home. (Actually, I puffed and panted a lot because I haven't had to run anywhere for a while!) Airwolf was pretty cool - it was the first time I'd seen the PROPER opening titles for AGES! I left the video taping so I caught Thunder in Paradise which was a complete load of PISH. They killed off the classy bird in it who I rather fancied with a really rubbish incident. Apparently, she went to England on a business trip, it was foggy, the car in front of her stopped. End of babe. We didn't SEE any of this of course, it was just a quick way of writing her out of the story. I doubt whether I'll be watching that load of PANTS again. Slobbed around in the afternoon and had a phone chat with FeekZoid. For tea I had some succulent pieces of chicken in a lightly spiced creamy makhanwala sauce served with pilau rice, gobi aloo sag and an onion bhaji. (Well, that's what it said on the Chicken Tikka Makhanwala box!) Oh, and I also had the troublesome Super Noodles which were yummy. I rounded off the day by watching 'Interview with the Vampire' on vid. Good film. Nuff said. I'm now going to perform a quirkafleeg now. See ya. From:- Ken. (Barbies boyfriend). -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday September 24th 1995. Hello my Breetish churms. Oo-eeer! For some strange reason my video taped 'Dyke TV' which was on last night. I skimmed through it and found most of it to be pretty damn boring until I came to a little show about a bird who was picked up at a bar by another bird. They went off for some rumpy pumpy which was interesting viewing. That got the day begun. I then scoofed some brekkie and mucked around on the Amiga for a while. All of a sudden Collett and Mez arrived. Today is APOLLO 13 day so we whizzoomed down the motorway to the mighty UCI cinema. Collett had purchased the new Starburst which had a pic of SCULLY on the cover and some good pics of her inside (inside the mag, not inside her clothes, house or skin you silly billies). I MUST HAVE THAT MAG!! Apollo 13. Good film. It needed to be seen at the cinema so you get the full size and sound experience of a Saturn rocket launching. Awesome. Those guys had a REALLY bad trip. After we left the cinema lots of Apollo gags were born and every piece of technology we touched seemed to blow apart and drift off spewing imaginary oxygen. Colletts car IS Apollo 13! We trekked around the Merry Hell shopping centre for a while but I was unsuccessful in obtaining Starburst. Nooooooooughat! Collett tried to find the 'Sky magazine' with Anna Friel in it but he failed too. The WHSmiths in the Merry Hell shopping centre is GLUE! Time to go home. Once back at the Zone Collett and Mez departed and I took some paracetamol because all that exitement had given me TRENCH HEAD. I slobbed around for a while and watched 'Junior Masterchef' because Jane Asher was on it. SHE looked good enough to eat! Didn't do much else really, watched 'You've been framed' which was a hoot and generally whiled away the rest of the day. Now bugger off and read tomorrows waffle because today is DEADO. From:- Karol Vorderman. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday September 25th 1995. "Fungus the bogeyman went for a walk down town". Yowza gang! Monday? Mundane day more like. (Well, almost). This mornings post was a bit plebby. There was yet another batch of fliers from 'Zine 64 and a few other bits 'n bobs. No great fortune though. FRIG. My main task of the morning was to copy 'Xmas Chortles' for Levi Jack. That got most of the morning out of the way. I also got a few BZ packages sorted and a tape duplicated which I later forgot to post. EBOING! DROOL! For luncheon I scoofed a plate of honey roast ham sarnies which I covered in hamburger relish. MISTAKE. I should have used mustard. They were horrible soggy sarnies which I did NOT enjoy one little bit. Ptooooey! Gag! Grimace! Gurn! I then floated up the town to pay some squires into the bank. The good old Droitwich version of WHSmiths DID have Starburst! YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSS! Trumpet trumpet trumpet! Bugle bugle bugle! I spotted Mez in there buying the Sky magazine for himself! Ha harrr! I libbled back to the awe-inspiring Binary Zone and continued to work on the 'Xmas Chortles' vid. Now that the actually movie is on the tape I filled the rest of it up with classic C64 demos. He's gonna love it! 'Space Precinct' was cool tonight. I do like that show - despite some obvious model fx. 'X-Files' was also damn fine. Scully looked cuddly and it was a UFO'ey episode. Rad! After the 'X-Files' I watched the end of 'Alien³' (which was on telly complete with most of the swearing) and then floated off into the land of nod. My wrath will return SOON. Farewell ... From:- Big Jim. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday 26th September Nointeenointyfoive. Hibbahubbahobbahebba! Hello to you, you, you and that kant at the back. I had a neat dream last night. I met a pretty blonde girl up the town and we seemed to be on the same 'wavelength'. It was nice chatting with her, I hope she either becomes a reality or returns to my dreams soon. The real world wasn't quite as fascinating as my dream world. My post was pants packed (not literally) and I had lots of letters to type. POO! On went the Babylon 5 CD and away I went. Lots of letters and parcels were prepared and I got that huge bastard of a parcel ready for Levi Jack. I said it before and I'll say it again, He's gonna love it! (He actually rang me later in the day and he sounded VERY excited!) Thrilling morning eh? Lunch time was just as great. I glarged together some ham sangers but this time lashed on the mustard. Too much mustard! Hot sarnies! Hoh! Hoh! (Frenetic and somewhat pointless waving of hand in front of mouth type action). Blibbed up the town the afternoughat and pisted my poopables (or something). On the strength of last nights dream I went to the location in the town where I met the girl to see if she was actually there. Unfortunately, there was no sign of a pretty blonde girl with shoulder length blonde hair tied up at the back. SOB! I almost felt genuinely sad. *NEWSFLASH* My Dad is a phone at this moment in time and his amusing quote for this diary is:- "She had a fanny like a mouses ear". HEHE! Scampered at a snails pace back towards the Zone and remembered to collect my little brother from school on the way (I've been reminded TWICE even though I hadn't forgotten in the first place!) The elven beauty was there - quite a distance away though. I love her hair (on her head, not the pubic variety). (Hmmm. I love that too!) Later in the day I prepped a package for Waz and typed him a lengthy lettuce. Just as I was writing a P.S on it he rang! I told him what I was going to write in the P.S and then wrote "P.S I told you this P.S on the phone". Hunh? I felt inspired after I had chatted to him and so I sat and typed a scrolly for the Kenzterview. It's a pretty good one too - I was in a wacky mood (unusual for me!) ... Tim Wright rang at some point in the evening and asked for details of my disk supplier. I need some disks too. Rounded off the day by filing it into a nice circular shape. Oh, and I watched the film 'The Switch' which had a chauvenist bloke being turned into a gorgeous babe as a punishment. DOI?! Some poeple PAY to get that done (and some of them end up looking clinically strange). The film was quite entertaining but she/he/collett kept stumbling around on high heels for FAR TOO LONG. That blonde crumpet was rather nice until she cut her hair. It grew back again though. (I like blondes at the moment by the way). Is that the time? No, it's a wristwatch. From:- Kendo Warrior. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday September 27th 1995. "Blue Peter is a boring pile of PANTS so there!" Oho, aha, eehee, oohoo. Not you lot again! Haven't I done ENOUGH of this stuff?! No? Oh well, strap yourselves in and prepare for a white knuckle ride through the land of the idle banter. Woke up, got up, got dressed, ate some fruit and fibre (which DOES make you poo) and generally did the general things that generally get done in the morning. Then it was time for ACTION. I finally got my ARSE into gear and got the Martin Galway interview SORTED. I managed to tap out around FORTY questions for the LORD of the SID CHIP and a lengthy letter which generally enthused (without being mere 'fan mail'). COOL! Now the ball is in Tim Wrights court because it is up to him to EMAIL the stuff to my mate Marty who I've known for years etc etc blah blah. (Would you believe it took me ALL MORNING to prepare a sending for Galway?! Glubble!) HEHE! I wormed my way out of a 'move rotting garden rubbish' type chore this afternoon. Chores? F'kaaaaaaaaarf! In the afternoon I taught myself Arabic, restored a Spitfire to pristeen condition and mused over why on earth they painted the Blackpool tower GOLD. Oh, and I probably did some other stuff too but it was so DULL I can't recall what it was! ARF! The episode of Star Trek that was on telly tonight was the last one I already own on video. That means that next week I will be in 'uncharted waters' so to speak. Bev looked rather yummy in tonights episode. She looks GREAT with long hair. 'OOOORN. Later on I gave Levi Jack a ring to confirm his monster package arrived. IT HAD! Phheeewie! He was in the middle of checking it out when I gave him a ring so I left him to it. It took me AGES to prepare all that stuff for him so it was a big relief that it got to him safely. Nice one post-office! That is all the waffle you are going to extract from me you fiends. See you in a blibble or two. From:- 'Im upstairs. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Turdsday September 28th 1995. "Defecation! It's what you need ... If you want to be the best etc ..." It is now exactly two blibbles since we last spoke. Good eh? Plenty of lovely post gushed into the Zone this morning. Lots of people sent me MONEY so I decided to order some blank disks AND some pics of my beloved Gerry, erps, I mean Gillian Anderson! (TEEHEE!) OH NO! I rang my disk supplier and the girly who usually deals with me (Avril) no longer works there!! NO WAY! Avril has been sending me disks for YONKS!! Sob! Sniffle! It just won't be the same. In the afternoon I sproinged up the town and paid my dosh into the bank (well, I couldn't have paid it into the BUTCHERS could I?!) I then got ONE photocopy done and unleashed my post on the unsuspecting girl in the post office (who has got big tits and a mouth to match). I purchased a pack of three C60 tapes from WHSmiths for only £2.50. That meant I could afford a packet of PORK CRACKLES with the change. RIGHT ON! I then vragged right back home and had a quick whizz on 'Primal Rage' which Rich lent me. Erm, what are those SMALL indistinct blobs? Oh, those are the monsters! Umm, it's not as good a conversion as 'Mortal Kombat 2' was on the SNES I'm afraid. I expected it to be much bigger and better. Once you get into it the gameplay isn't all that bad and I had fun trying out the special moves. The first episode of Star Trek - Deep Space Nine was shown on BBC 2 tonight which I taped. Bloody heck, I seem to be taping an awful lot of telly progs at the moment. Here's what I'm currently keeping to watch again again for ever amen... Monday .... Space Precinct & The X-Files (Scuuuuullllllllllyyyyyyyyy!). Wednesday . Star Trek - The Next Generation (as from next week). Thursday ... Star Trek - Deep Space Nine. Saturday .. Airwolf. Phew! Five shows a week! It's lucky I've got plenty of video-tapes at the moment. What is Fonzie? COOL! Hmm, here's an odd bit of triv for ya. Apparently you got to see quite a bit of one of Michelles boobs in tonights episode of Eastenders. I missed that vital scene so I'll set the vid to tape the omnibus on Sunday (if I remember). I like a bit of breast revealage, me! In case you were wondering why todays diary entry seems to be longer than usual I'll explain. This is the first time in ages that I have actually typed a diary entry on the SAME DAY that the events ocurred! Oh dear, I appear to have got bored all of a sudden. Time for me to depart I fear. Abiento! From:- Karpet mouth. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday September 29th 1995. Hellooooooo! I'm ,BACK to kick YOUR arse with more wonderful gobshite! Aren't you just LUCKY LUCKY people ... ? ("No" - everyone). This mornings post resembled TWO letters. And in those TWO letters was MONEY. Not that it did much good because I have NO blank disks at all. Hoo yas. I did actually manage to conjure two blank disks out of thin air (thanks to the unusued GOLD RANGE! HEHE!) and used them to send one of my lovely members (?!) a copy of COMMODORE ZONE. YAAAaaaAAAaaaaAAAAyyyyyYYYYyyy! Then it was time for me to head off to see Richy Rich. Out into the brilliant sunshine I headed and soon I was at the house which he lives at and in. (Hmm. That last sentence was GREAT!) We copied some mods and stuff and he showed me the finishing moves in 'Primal Rage' which were rather entertaining ("Farts of fury"! HEHE!) Rich drooped me back at the Zone and once I had grabbed my photocopy bits I lurched towards the town. Did the usual rubbish in the town and then collected little bruv. I spotted the elven beauty but as she doesn't care one single iota whether I live or die I'm not going to enthuse about her today. In the afternoon I duplicated some tapes and goggled at the telly. Sort of did that in the evening too. Vic & Bobs quiz thingy was cool AGAIN tonight. Carol Vorderman was on it and she looked REALLY nice. She didn't look wrinkly and dishevelled like she does on 'Countdown', she looked smart & sexy. Well, smart IS sexy in my opinion - ummm, where Carol Vorderman is concerned anyway. Here's a list of other things I did today:- 1. I had a REALLY nice tea (rib steaks and chips). 2. I ate ALL my mushy peas even though I loathe them. 3. As a contrast my din-dins was sodding AWFUL. 4. I broke a plate. (Smash! Tinkle! Bits!) 5. I watched 'The Lion King' for the second time. I hope you enjoyed that little clag-u-list. Now I am going away. Watch in amazement as I recede into the distance ...... .... ... .. . . From:- Uncle Travelling Mat. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday 30th September 1995. "Squid rings". Yub nub again chums. Here's Kenzoid back at the conn to drool on about the sort of stuff I got up to today. Are you all sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. HOUSEWORK! Aaaaarrrgh! Noooooooo! Once again I was lumbered with the enthralling task of whizzing the hoover around the ENTIRE house. GRAGH! But then something strange happened. After the house was spack and spin I couldn't stop tidying! I decided to begin the big revamp of the Zone I've been meaning to do since about April when I first began it! I dismantled my C64 and swapped my knackered 1541 for my only slightly knackered Oceanic drive. I then cleaned and polished my way along that side of the room rewiring as I went. I had a little break to watch (and tape) Airwolf and then carried on with the revamp. I was getting REALLY into things (you know when you get into the 'mood' for tidying?) but then I had to abandon things ... BAH! Foiled! Why did I have to stop? Because my Dad was coming to pick me up in the afternoon and whisk me away until tomorrow. I leapt into the shower and had to hurridly get dry and dressed because my Dad had arrived earlier than expected. GIBBER! PRESSURE! We called in at the chippie on the way to my Dads place and I requested chicken and chips because I'm REALLY into chip-shop chicken at the moment. In the evening I watched the boxing on Sky. Prince wotsit Hamed thingy completely kicked (or rather Punched) the other blokes ass (Well, his HEAD) and won easily. I'm not really a boxing fan but I really enjoyed the fight and Prince thingy doodaar was impressive to watch. Good stuff. During the fight this thicko CAVEMAN popped round to watch it with us. He lent my half-brother Stuart his copy of the Lion King which I had to sit through AGAIN. Sheeesh! The caveman didn't stay to watch it with us though. I then retired to a strange bed in a strange room at around 1:30am. What an odd way to end a month. See you all L8R! SNORE! From:- Simba. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-