Sunday October 1st 1995. "Well, there's two Banthas down there ... " What the HECK?! My first sight of this new month was a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel leaping through the air towards me. EEEE-WEEEE! It was Katie, one of my Dads three dogs saying 'good morning' to me as only dogs can (I.E Leap onto your guts while you are asleep). For brekkie I was treated to a cup of tea and a mountain of biscuits. Yam. I then watched all the Sunday morning tee-vee with Stuart. Jackie Wright in 'classic' Grange Hill is VERY cute! Get in there Zammo my son! HEHE! Me and dad departed from the house and headed for the PUB for a mid-morning pint of grog. We were the only two people in the pub and decided to shoot some pool while we skulled some grog. I won BOTH pool matches, Dad managed to pot the black ball FIRST in the first game. WHOOPS!! We picked up the papers for returning to the house. Lunch was a DELICIOUS meal of pork which I ate voraciously - as you do! We then all settled down to watch the Grand Prix which featured Damon Hill hurtling off the track into a load of tyres. Erm, I don't think he meant to do that somehow. My Dad did some UNBELIEVABLE farts today. He scored TWO perfect TENS which is very rare indeed. We joked about the state of his kegs because the farts were so long and immense I was sure he must have followed through at some point! Didn't do much else really, watched MORE telly including bits of the new Disney channel (ho hum) and various other Sunday type progs. I was brought back to the Zone after 'Londons Burning'. I pottered around in the 'new look' Zone for a while before hitting the sheets. Bysiebye for now! From:- Nutty Ned. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday October 2nd 1995. "My bin is full of popcorn". Alright mates, how are ya? Right, enough pleasantaries, lets get on with things. I woke up (a good sign), read a bit of Buck Rogers and then struggled out of bed into the virtual world. Once I was washed, shaved and had done a wee-wee (and I'd washed my hands afterwards of course) I absailed down the stairs for some food to scoof. I fancied something MORE than a mere bowl of cereal so I boiled some EGGS and toasted some, erm, bread. The Zone was then activated and I bunged a couple of copies (THREE to be precise) of 'Commodore Zone' (with TAPE covermounts) into envelopes ready to be bunged into the box. I then did a SPIFFING amount of work on the disk-based 'Update 10' and felt pretty darned pleased with myself. My Oceanic drive wasn't writing data properly and it seems to have problems reading the first few sectors of the disk. I opened it up and gave the heads a good clean and then connected it all back together. My Oceanic drive still isn't writing data properly and it seems to have problems reading the first few sectors of the disk. "Shit you bastard thing". The reason I did so much work on 'Update 10' is because I had run out of disks and I didn't want to waste a day doing f*ck ALL which is what I usually would have done. Imagine my surprise when a load of blank disks arrived in the afternoon! GLOBOO! Lots of work tomorrow alert! (If my Oceanic can read a few freaking disks without giving me a load of firing error messages for no mother-humping reason). I connected my angle-poised lamp to my table in a different way so it didn't interfere with my newly positioned 1541 drive. I'm still not 100% happy with it though. (Who cares anyway? ME! - Kenz). Space Precinct was COOL tonight. A time-travelling terminator totalled everyone causing me to alliterate somewhat at the start of this sentence. As I'd had a headache ALL DAY I gave up working and skulled 20ml of paracetamol suspension. By 9pm my headache had cleared up. Just in time for the X-Files. Good stuff. Oh my word, Scully spent most of this episode in the boot of a car. How could they do that to her?? She's too cute to be kidnapped, abducted, operated on, kidnapped again and then generally hidden away by the fiends at the military ... SSSSS CCCC UU UU LL LL YY YY SS CC UU UU LL LL YY YY SSSS CC UU UU LL LL YYYY SS CC UU UU LL LL YY SSSSS CCCC UUUU LLLLL LLLLL YY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOB! From:- Concerned fan and devoted admirer. P.S. Michael Moores TV nation was a load of cobblers tonight. Sorry to viewers of that bag of toilets but it bored me RIGID. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday October 3rd 1995. "O.J.Simpson you're going daaaaaahn - NOT! (The Jury)". Hiya! Well fondle my fondants, it's Tuesday. And you know what that means ... You don't? Nor me. Hmmm. Interesting that. Any old how, onwards and downwards we must go. I woke up dead early this morning. As I felt 'full of beans' (PARP!) I didn't want to doze off again so I read a chunk of my Buck Rogers book while the sun slowly rose. When a decent amount of daylight was filtering into the Zone I got out of bed and donned some clothes. I then sploshed around in the bog (well, not actually IN the bog) and then trundled downstairs to scoofle some Frosties for my brekkie. WORK was the next thing I did. I packaged up ten blank disks that a chappie ordered a WHILE ago (soz mate, I've been BUUUSY and had no disks until now) and bunged LOTS of copies of 'Commodore Zone' into envelopes. FeekZoid rang me just before lunchtime and we had a lengthy chat about PlaySID type things. He has finally managed to port his C64 DIGI TUNES onto the mig-mog. YEEESSSSS! Ethnisound and the Galway tribute sound MEGA played with PlaySID! The samples are really clear. Good work dude! For lunch I had a RIB STEAK (Yum), CHICKEN SUPER NOODLES (Yuuuum) and some waffles (bland). An odd combination which didn't quite work together. (We can't always be Delia sodding Smith can we?!) Oh, I watched the Trek episode 'Redemption' while I scoofed which was COOL! After my hunger was defeated I lumbered up the town with a massive parcel under my arm. Mom wanted it posted so muggins here had to carry it to the post-office. I had a ten foot arm after that. (I should have carried it with my nob!). Once I had done the usual malarkey up the town I spiddled back home and watched some telly while WORKING at the same time. There's some new crumpet in 'Byker Grove'. She is related to Debbie Dobson (who I still think is REALLY cute). I had a MASSIVE amount of food for my tea which I had to force down because I wasn't all that hungry. The pizzas were nice though. After tea we all watched the O.J.Simpson verdict. He quite literally got away with MURDER!! Harsh language sprang to mind. Justice is GLUE! I decided to give Levi Jack a ring this evening to see what he thought about the 'Xmas Chortles' movie. He absolutely LOVED IT!! Another Chortles fan is born and he asked me about the follow-up! Globber! With high spirits I then continued to bung 'CZ's into envelopes and for an encore I compiled BZD335* - Let's Disco which turned out really well. Chuffed? I certainly was. Chuff? I certinly did. Chaff? Airplanes use that to confuse incoming missiles. Chef? They cook scoofables. Oooch, my neck (and BRAIN) hurts after all this tapping so I'm going to rack off now. See you soon(ish). From:- AstroSmurf. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday October 4th 1995. "I had the breath of a thousand arseholes". Did profuse amounts of work in the morning. I then scoofed some CORNED BEEF SANGERS at one point but I think I overdid the brown sauce a little! (Understatement). I then troddled up the town and got rid of all my post, bought some tapes, got some complimemts slips copied and then zibbed home. MORE copies of 'CZ' were chucked into envelopes in the afternoon and I added music to some SEUCK doobries. In the evening I watched (and taped) Trek TNG (I'm rapidly approaching UNSEEN EPISODES!!!!) and had chats on the phone to:- Jon Wells (I must remember to post his free copy of 'CZ' tomorrow). Jaz Kelk (I must remember to post him about FIVE DISKS of swag!!) Was P (He's finished the Kenzterview! Ye-essssss!) Balti for tea. My guts will be fired. 'Nuff said, I'm gone. Ciao! From:- Tim the Twat (© Mez cartoon strips inc). -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday 5th October 1995. "The great blobbling beanbag". Yaaaaawwwwwn! Hmmm. What a fantastic sleep last night - SOMEONE ELSE PROBABLY HAD. Me? I woke up at around 4am and then tossed (fnim!) and turned while it grew gradually lighter in the Zone. Did I get back to sleep? Did I eccles cake! (whatever that means). I then got up, showered, got dressed, blah blah etc drone waffle. Once I was feeling almost alive I attacked my 'in-tray'. Various odds 'n smegs were neatly packaged ready to be sent to my lovely custardmers. Golly gosh, before I knew what was happening I was walking UP THE TOWN! Jeepers! Guess what I did while I was up the town ... ? Posted some stuff, bought some Pork Crackles (© ® tm) and GLOWERED at an old dear who tried not only to push in front of me but also pushed past me in the queue. On my way home from the town it literally SHAT down with rain. Honest folks, it absolutely CHUCKED it down! I can be a pretty smart guy when I try (very hard) so I took shelter until it stopped raining. Scant moments later I was walking home in the BRILLIANT SUNSHINE! Doi?! C'mon weather, sort yerself out. Sloobed around in the afternoon waiting for Star Trek DS9 to start. It was a pretty good episode and I enjoyed taping/watching/eating it. In the evening I located a vid-tape which someone had sent me for my 'Xmas Chortles' movie. I had a look to see if there was any stuff on it and was delighted to find an unseen episode of Trek DS9! (Well, it was unseen when I found it, but NOT ANYMORE!) Didn't do anything else really, went to bed, went to sleep. You know the score. Sweet dreams until next time ... From:- Kippers. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday 6th October 1995. Hallo, hello, hullo, hillo. Hey, it's funny I should mention sweet dreams in yesterdays mumbo jumbo, that's exactly what I had. I can remember some EEE-WEEE Ginny-esque dogs being in the dream and a girl with long blonde hair. Hmmmmm. KER-PLUNK! That was the sound of my most flopping onto the mat. OO! Stuff from S&P Parker! OO! Two big envelopes! OO! Hold on, no card backed envelopes, SOB! WHERE'S MY SCULLY PICS?!?!?! The catalogues were pretty good though. The WET HAIR SCULLY pic was in there. I might get a 20" x 16" SuperPrint of it. Then again, I might get a life first ... OHOHAHARHOO. FeekZoid rang. He's been composing more chewns and porting more of his C64 digi-zaks. He pretty much refused outright to do an ambient 'X-Files' theme reworking for me. BAH! Dinner? HEINZ BIG SOUP. It looked like SICK. ("Aren't I lucky, I got a CHUNKY BIT - Heurgghllenuurrggfff). I got another package sorted out in afternoon (which earned me a TENNER). No thanks go to my Oceanic for farting around while it was (or rather, WASN'T) copying disks. I then started on a sending for Jaz Kelk and did a bit of work on 'Update 10' which actually looks pretty damn neat with whizzy sprites in the border etc. EEK! I had to some housework type chores after that. I'm going to skin our hoover and wear it as a hat one day - that's how much I like it! VIC & BOBS SHOOTING STARS wotsit was on today. Ulrika was showing quite a lot of breastage. I then watched 'Room 101' which prompted the following sentence:- Boring old whining slag of the day:- Germaine Greer. Bye for a bit! From:- K-9. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday 7th October 1995. Hello once again my little ASCII pal. The first thing I did today was check the post to see if my three Scully pics had arrived. They had NOT. I was NOT happy. WHERE ARE THEY?! I was going to continue re-vamping the Zone but as my pics hadn't come I didn't bother. On last weeks Thunder in Paradise (which of course I don't watch any more - AHEM!!) there was a STUNNING slow motion shot of a blonde babe running along the beach. As I usually tape Airwolf over Thunder in Paradise I needed to move that splendid footage off my Airwolf tape pretty damn quickly because Airwolf was on later in the day. The moral of this paragraph? 'Caravan Capers 2 - The Plebs Strike Back' was finally started! I used the running babe footage at the start of the muso-vid and they, erm, SHE looks AWESOME! It took me AGES to get that sorted out because people kept on disturbing me and walking into my room while I was carefully editing bouncing breasts onto my master tape. Don't you just hate it when that happens?! Kev popped round in the afternoon and asked me to tape him the 'Batman' movie. This was no problem until my video decided to bugger up and put text on the screen. Bloody sodding thing. I bet Spielberg doesn't have these problems ... ! For the rest of the afternoon and evening I worked on a package for Jaz Kelk and compiled him TEN disk-sides of bits. I added sprites and a cool tune to 'Update 10' and was quite pleased with how it looked. I asked Mr Kelky to code me a new 'Update 10' which allowed the text to be scrolled up and down - he agreed! Brutal! And as some people have been known to say from time to time:- GOODNIGHT! From:- Hip and trendy guy. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday 8th October 1995. "Dear ZZAP! I can't move my ship because I haven't got a joystick". Iiiiiiiiii'm BACK! Yes, it's ME! I'm still here and I just can't believe I've managed to keep a diary for this long! The last time I kept a diary for a good while was in 1989. For some unknown reason I gave that one up on Wednesday 30th August 1989. Here's the last entry (Ooo! I feel like Agent Cooper reading Laura Palmers diary ... ?!) 30 Wednesday - Week 36 (242-123) Today I completely sorted out my disks and got a mega version of Dominator, Speedball etc. Sorted out s/show pix and drank vast quantities of tea. Upgraded this this diary, I mean UPDATED IT! I've got REM POKE MODEM PLOTTER on the brain! And that folks was it! The rest of the entries are blank. That was the average length of each entry too - it was one of those little books you write in, not one of these big ASCII muthas. I don't know why I ended it when I did. Strange that. Oh gawsh, I'd better tap what I did today or this diary concept will be a bloody wasted idea which has taken several months to produce. Go and blow your nose and get comfy ... Boyoinged out of bed and checked the post. Realised it was Sunday and felt a bit of a gimp because there was none. Nyeeeuuurrrr, I like bicycles. Mom brought me a cooked breakfast which was a damn fine surprise. I scoofed it in the Zone and had a quick blast on Dune 2. DING DONG! Collett calling ... Off to Mikes we went. The plan for the day was to link up two PC's and play lots of head to head games. Sounds good eh? Well, it WASN'T. Mike spent HOURS farting around installing Windows '95 on Colletts weird PC and then he pissed around with networking stuff which DID NOT WORK. I did manage to see 'Command & Conquer' (v.good) and I had a couple of link-up games of Heretic. My arse was blown away by two friggas who had played the game to death and therefore knew:- A) What bloody keys to press. B) The location of large amounts of weaponry. C) What to sodding do. D) The level layout. NOT FUN!! Anyway, here's some techno-trivia for you. Lee Collett is officially incompatible with Pot-Noodles. For the second time he left most of it (WASTE!) and it rather amusingly fell over leaving a puddle of brown discharge on Mikes carpet. We had a choice of two things to do with it:- A) Throw it in the bin carefully ensuring no noodles emit making a mess. B) Reverse Colletts car over it. What did we do? Well, there is now a 'crushed-noodle' on the car-park outside Mikes house. Arf arf! After a really exciting day at Mikes (!) Collett dropped me back at the Zone and then hurtled off back to the Glarge. The rest of the day for me was spent on the phone! The first call was from Andruby Wax. We had a good old blather as usual and he insisted I bought the new 'SFX' because you get a nice pic of Scully as a freebie. I could just TELL he'd had a furious wank over his Scully pic because he loves her - more than me! Honest! He does! (Note the pile of sarcasm which has just dripped out of my mouth). He also did his good deed of the day and warned me about 'killer super noodles'. Sure enough I found a pack which was filled with land mines (or something) ... Ummm, okay, next paragraph time! The second call was from Jon Wells. We nattered for AGES and Jon told me he really loved the first issue of 'CZ'. He couldn't believe the quality! I just sat back and enjoyed all his enthusing. I think he liked it. He also played some of his new C64 tunes down the phone which were rather good (He IS Rob Hubbard version 2.0!) and I played him some new Shreeve tracks which he now wants a copy of. By the time I had hung the phone up I was ready for some sleepy byes so I jolly well went to bed. If you don't believe me then you can just f*ck right off because that's exactly what happened. See ya soon! From:- Bungle the monkey. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday 9th October 1995. "I'll just shaft it around a bit". Hey ho and away we GO! THUDDD! Yippee! Lots of post for the Kenzoid. Let's have a look at what we've got ... Hmmm. 'The Kenzterview' from Waz, requests for BZ catalogues, requests for 'CZ', an order for over a hundred quids worth of PD, damn! No Scully pics. Hold on a minute, what was that?? AN ORDER FOR OVER A HUNDRED QUIDS WORTH OF PD!! f*ck ME RIGID! Don't you just love it when that happens?! I started work today with rather high spirits ... Can't think why! (££££ KER-CHING! ££££ $$$$). My first jobbie (kwurg!) was to complete the package for Jaz Kelk and get a few other bits ready to posted. I then prepared some dosh to be paid into the bank and scootled up the town (formerly known as the twon). I then got ONE photocopy done (wooooow), purchased some munchables, adhesive wrap (I don't actually munch adhesive wrap by the way) before skipping lightly back to that place where people send orders for OVER A HUNDRED QUIDS WORTH OF PD!! Once home I slapped some adhesive stuff on the last few copies of 'CZ' and then got a few other bits and bobs done. I blasted out the Babylon 5 CD, some Shreeve and some Jarre to keep me company. Yeek, it's MR SHEEN TIME! (Well, PLEDGE actually). I was so chuffed with the Scully pic that was in the SFX mag that I decided to continue cleaning out the Zone. Those other pics MUST arrive soon - I can't keep this fakkin 'orn up forever ... !! (Actually I CAN! Gloat, brag, smarm). Taped 'Space Precinct' and ogled Castle who flounced around showing her funbumps more than usual. Pretty girl. Me like. I then discovered that some idiot had been messing with the video recording levels. 'Space Precinct' was recorded at FULL BLAST with no sound coming out of the right speaker. GUMPH! It's lucky I spotted that before tonights 'X-Files' or I would have been mightily pissed off. Hmmm. 'X-Files' did not feature Scully at all! BLUB! We are now at the episodes which she missed to have a baby. I'm not jealous at all ... I haven't got a problem with the fact that someome other than me has had sex with her .... G.G.G.GIBBER! (Kenz leaves briefly to snap some pencils). Okay, I'm alright. (FUME!) Right, what else ... Oh, and then I came up stairs to bring this diary right up to date - and that's what I'm doing now. Neat eh? I'm now going to watch the end of tonights episode of 'Space Precinct' (my tea coincided with it) and then I'm going to read the last chapter of the last Buck Rogers novel. Not a bad trilogy that - once you get used to the funky characters and lack of Twikki. Eeeeby-beebly. Catchyalater! From:- Virgil Reality. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday 10th October 1995. "Somebody was in the pod ... Look Sir, droids". Greetings Commander ... (That's what my Amiga says when you switch it on). The main exciting event of today was an epic journey into Worcester. Did I say epic? I meant SODDING EXPENSIVE. The day began the same as usual, got up, washed, dressed etc and then I got together the bits I needed to get copied and prepared myself for a traipse to the train station. I drew out a few sheets on my way through the town, dropped a package off at the post-office and then continued on to the station. I had to wait for over TWENTY naffy poxing minutes for the PACKED train to arrive. SEETHE! Once in Worcester I zoomed straight to the Concorde Stationary. I had LOTS of copies done and a couple of laminations which they really f*ckED UP. Noooo! 'Starburst' Scully pic!! RUINED!! CRY! The copies and laminations came to over 16 QUID which made me crap myself instantly (almost). The only good thing about my visit to that shop was ogling the blonde chick who did my copies. She's got a strange name which I can't remember. Oh well. I'll call her 'Elizabit' because that's the name of a sexy hologram in the Buck Rogers novels. I met Mike in Antics after that. While he was sorting out his cards I nipped off to buy some tapes and paper. I actually ran out of Money at that point! POO. Oh yeah, Me and Mike met my Mom and we all went to check out the PC's in 'Radio Rentals'. Olivetti computers are a load of SHITE so we won't be getting one of those. Up yours, Olivetti! (Lob V's, stick out tongue etc). Once back in Droiters Mike went home and I traipsed towards the town with some bags that now weighed about 3 tons (each). I spotted SAHRAN JONES in the town and gave her a cheery grin. Went home, dropped off all the gear I had purchased (THIRTY FRAGGIN' QUIDS WORTH) and then nipped to collect little bruv. The rest of the afternoon was spent sorting out all the copies I had done with a heap of catalogue stapling thrown in. Hours of fun. After my yummy tea (Quiche/Flan type object) I finished off the game of Dune 2 which I have been playing for a few days. I found a rocket launcher I didn't know I had and demolished the enemy base with it. HA! I did try to watch 'Predator 2' which was on telly tonight but I was just too knackered. Snoozed my way into the land of nod. See you in the future. From:- Marty ("Get out!"). -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday 11th October 1995. "Scrunch! Munch! Scoof!" Mmmm, yum. I'm eating a bag of pwarn cocktail crisps while I type this. I think this is the first time this YEAR I've actually been eating while I do a diary entry. Funny that. (Oh yeah, HOOT! - sarcastic viewers). When I was vaguely awake I flicked through the telly channels and was alarmed to see two Stormtroopers and Darth Vader on the Big Brekkie! Carrie Fisher and Billy Dee Williams were also on it! STAR WARS RULES! (The interview with Carrie Fisher was a COMPLETE waste of time. Lily Savage IS a man! Erm ... Glue etc). I then checked my post. Still no Scully pics. Shite on a kite, WHEN WILL THEY ARRIVE?!?! Sccccuuuuullllllyyyyyy! Bwah! Fwoo! Yas. This morning was spent doing work. A lot of work. I mean that, a LOT of work. A mountain of packages were waiting to be posted by the time I was ready to hit the town. It was a pity I only had £1 in cash eh folks?!?! Went up the town anyway and paid a few groats into the bank. I then pissed around shoving coppers into the stamp machine. It spat most of them back out at me. DIE OPPRESSIVE MACHINERY! I couldn't be bothered to do much else after that so I slobbed around the Zone while waiting for Star Trek TNG to start. Taped it, enjoyed it, good stuff. It was the one where Troi wakes up as a Romulan. "Is it a Romulan plot?". After my yummy tea (Quiche/Flan type object - AGAIN) I had another game of Dune 2. My arse was well and truly kicked today!! The Amiga has avenged itself. GrrrRRRRrrrRRrrrrrr. FeekZoid is on da phone at the moment ... He sayz:- "Eh? You're doing a diary?". Good diary quote dude! HEHE! That brings us right up to date! Yippee! I love it when this thing is typed up. It's horrible when there's a few days to type up and you have to rack your brains to remember events. Mistype of the day:- "pwarn". I'm gone. Ciao! From:- Hank the thick alien. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday 12th October 1995. "Kenz you wiffa waffa!" Howdydoody! How can I begin todays mumbo jumbo then? Erm, well, I woke up! I tuned in to the Big Brekkie but it didn't feature half the cast of a Star Wars movie so I soon tired of the whole shabang. My Scully pics STILL have not arrived. I'm starting to fret a bit now. I kept thinking "Shall I ring them? Shall I send a note with another order asking where they have got to?" WORRY! WORRY! I want to get them on the sodding WALL! I've been tidying this room for DAYS now while waiting for the 'finishing touch' to arrive. HARUMPH! I decided to get two big-ish packages sorted out today but unfortunately, they took ALL MORNING to do. GAH! I couldn't be bothered to go up the town today (and I had no cash) so I played Dune 2 instead! I changed my tactics slightly which turned out to be a Winona Ryder of a good idea. Last time I built up a base and surrounded it with my tanks etc. When the bad-guys attacked they showered death and destruction onto my poor vehicles and buildings and even though I took some of them out my base was smashed and my vehicles were destroyed. This time I took the battle to enemy and fought them on open ground. The enemy tanks that managed to get past my forces were soon picked off by the rocket towers around my base. HA! When I wasn't battling for Arrakis I was goggling at something on the telly. I taped 'Trek DS9' and from next week I will be able to watch UNSEEN episodes of both 'TNG' and 'DS9'. They are repeating the old series on Sunday too! WIBBLE! More Dune 2. Blast! Bang! Smash! "Yes Sir?", "Acknowledged". (Then the Amiga decided to CRASH! TCHOH! Just because we'd reached a stalemate). I gave Andy Robotnik a buzz but he'd gone out on the piss or something. I tried his number yesterday too. At least SOMEONE on this planet has got a social life! Fwoo! And that was today. Thrilling eh? I only got TWO packages sorted out but they WERE awkward ones. Frig! Even the WORD awkward is awkward! (Yeah, I did look it up - so sue me!) I'm going to fix myself a drink now. My throat is as dry as a martian mountain. Bye-bye, have fun, take care, don't get run over when you cross the road etc. From:- The man on the hill with the great big willy. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday 13th October 1995. "I'm the leprechaun!" What was that? FRIDAY THE 13TH?? And my name is ... JASON! Hmmmm, where did I leave that hockey mask? Now to kill some innocents ... etc. As today is sooooo 'UNLUCKY' I think I'll list all the LUCKY things that happened to me today. 1. My Scully pics arrived! Phucking fwoooooaarrrr! The first pic I checked out was the extra Madchen Amick one I ordered and she looked beeeeeaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuutiful. Then I came to the first Scully pic. Slightly SHOWING HER TITS! FAKKIN 'ORN! The second one was a pleasant pic of similar to the one in the back of 'CZ' and the final pic was Scully in the same dress as the TIT SHOWAGE one but she's smiling at, erm, ME! Was it worth the wait? Too damn right it was. 2. I managed to get an awkward package into a normal envelope and avoided using an expensive jiffy-bag. The package looked a bit funky but the contents were well protected. Rad! 3. A tape finished duplicating just as I was ready to go up the town so I flipped it over and left it doing the other side. I was lucky I spotted it had finished or I would have had to wait another 45 mins before it was ready. 4. I found my door keys STRAIGHT AWAY when I was in a hurry to leave the house. This has NEVER happened before. 5. The cashpoint machine wouldn't let me draw out the money I wanted. Instead it insisted I had MORE! HUH?! 6. My C64 pretented to have BLOWN UP (Spark! Fzzz! No power light) but it turned out to be a dodgy plug. Phheeeewwww! That was lucky! 7. The topless pic of Anna Friel in Sky Magazine fit PERFECTLY into a little frame I had handy. Spawny or what?! I can see her ORBS! And so it goes on and on and ariston ... Today has not been unlucky at all! HA! Enough about that. Although I finally possessed the Scully pics I was determined to do some proper WORK before I finished revamping the Zone. That is exactly what I did too! There were MASSES of packages ready to be posted (which cost me over a FIVER to send! GIBOO!) which reminds me:- 8. I got served my my fave girly at the post-office. Once I had got back from the town it was TIME ... I went BERSERK IN THE ZONE! A proverbial tidying whirlwind! All the clutter on my windowsill was removed and cleaned, my stereo was completely dismantled and dusted and the final BIG hurdle, the SHELVES! This was the point where I was overcome with illness back in April but at long last every single thing on all my shelves was removed so they could be cleaned!! (The shelves weren't all that dusty strangely enough). All that was needed then was a good hoovering. I scoured the carpets using the attachment before running the hoover over the whole lot to finish it off. GLEAM! SPARKLE! Just as I had finished the phone rang. Andrex Ropeladder was returning my call fronm yesterday. He's going to send me his Scully pic that was given away in SFX. That's what Bomber wants! I hope he gets the mayonnaise off it first - HONK! I then framed 'Beths boobs', stuck a Teri Hatcher poster on the wall (using jizz as an unusual adhesive ... NOT REALLY!) and finally completed my SCULLY SHRINE! There's now FIVE pics of the red-headed slapper with the wonky mouth on my wall. (© 'Andy does not like Scully' descriptions inc). I could have watched the 'Pelican Brief' tonight but the start of it was so BORING I decided to 'carry on polishing' (HUYAHA!) instead. With a dazzlingly clean Zone I crashed into bed tired but horny (I mean, HAPPY). Slibble Litch! From:- Kentilla. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday October 14th 1995. "We've found ... A JCB!". Hiya! Wooo! What's this PALACE I seem to have woken up in? Oh, it's the Zone! (Cor, look at the tumblers on that red-head over there!) Yep, it's TIDY in here. I didn't want to do any work which may risk a mess so I bally well didn't. Instead I slurbed down the stairs and sloobled for most of the day. Yippee! Alf the hero has done TEN new pics of Ferris for issue 2 of 'Commodore Zone'. Pretty neat they are too. Some are a bit 'sketchy' but once they have been scanned they can be tarted up a bit. KEWL! I watched a shit load of telly today and taped Airwolf as usual (pretty good one today too). Thunder in Paradise was piss poor though. It hasn't been the same since they killed off that classy crumpet I fancied. Kev pooped round and unleashed a killer fart on my little bruv. Eeeh, I can remember when *I* was a 'fart target' when I was lickle. Now my bruv seems to have that honour ... ! ZzZzZzZzzzzz ... RING RING! ZzZzZzzzz RING RING! Zz .. Z . Huh? What the fok? Sheesus, it's past midnight and someone is ringing me up ... It was Frostie. He was on his way back from a pub and he decided to ring me up. Thanks a bunch dude - I was ASLEEP! I decided from now on to ALWAYS take the phone off the hook when I go to bed. ANGRY SNORE! From:- HugeWillyWinkie. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday October 15th 1995. "Conan the destroyer - on the quest for the HORN!!" 'ALLO KANTS ... Grumble, I've felt a bit dodgy the last few days. I think I've had a bit of a cold. It's all that tidying, it makes me SICK! Any old how, when I was up, showered, dressed etc I gave Colit a quick buzz to see if we were going to the flicks today. We WERE so I prepped to evac the Zone. Soon me, Colit and Mez were japing down the motorway on our way to the UCI cinema once more. Colit explained his near miss with a 'Miracle driver' so that new name was invented for someone who swerves all over the road like a swervy thing. An amusing quote from Angry Yag (The Ricochet screen?!) stuck in my mind for some reason today. It was "DIE SLAG MUTTON!". This proved to be so popular with the lads a hand gesture was invented which meant "DIE SLAG MUTTON!". We gave this gesture to LOTS of annoying people throughout the day. HOHO! What a wheeze! As we had YONKS to wait before the todays movie started we bumbled around the Merry Hell centre. I purchased the new '2 Unlimited' single because:- A) I still love Anita. B) It only cost 2 quid! C) I like bicycles ... Nyeeeeuuurrrr! I then drew out some sheets and promptly didn't spend them on ANYTHING!! (I wanted a couple of new Star Wars vids but they won't be released until TOMORROW. f*ck my luck). Collett was having some stomach problems - I.E It was EMPTY so we slurdled along to the KFC. At long last I got to try a DOUBLE WHOPPER!! (fnarr!). Hmmm. It seems they have finally invented a burger which is BIG ENOUGH! Tasty scoffum indeedy. Then it was time to hit the UCI Cinema HARD. I purchased some sweeties in the foyer (and an olympic mallow - SLURP!) and then staggered around while trying to carry some pop, sweets, flicks mag, my leather jacket and my cinema ticket. What movie did we come to see? "SPECIES"!! Ooo-ee-ooo! Giger-frolics alert. What can I say about the film then ... ? Hmmmm. Some nice bits (some VERY nice tits), some ropey CGI fx, some VERY GOOD fx (motion capture ahoy), some nice gore and a slightly naff ending. Pretty good fun though and some good moments of suspense. Sil was one mean bitch of an alien. Clever too. If you want to see a pretty girl in her bra then go and watch Species - right kidz?! Zooooooooooooom! (That was us going down the motorway). Once back in Droiters I SLOBBED severely. It is SUNDAY after all. What do you want eh? I had a nasty moment in the evening. I poured myself a glass of Coke (with lots of ice), got comfy on the chair, set the video for 'You've Been Framed' and was just poised to open a packet of pork crackles when ... PLINK ... What was that? The sound of ice cubes rattling. Why? Because my full glass of coke had FALLEN OVER! Aaaaaarrrrgh! An entire can of it flooded onto the carpet. Many minutes of frantic deck swabbing ensued. I missed ALL of 'YBF' and had to watch the recording I did of it. Frag! I have said all I intend to say. Farewell for now. From:- Jayce and the wheeled warriors. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Special Agent J.S.Kenz (279FHCYB) Field Report 16/10/95. "The truth is out there". The following events are based entirely on the factual happenings of the date stated above. All occurences relating to real life events are proven to be true at the time of this report being filed. Any alteration to this document by government agents or any other external source can and will be traced back to the source. This document carries a class 2 security stamp ... (Well, it beats the usual HELLO doesn't it?!) I wasn't exactly overwhelmed with post this morning. In fact, I got ONE letter. Was there a fat cheque enclosed? Nope. An anorexic cheque more like! I am now officially 2 quid richer than I was yesterday. YEEK! As I still felt a bit ROTTEN I didn't go into OVERDRIVE in the morning. Instead I duplicated a couple of tapes and tapped out some letters. Oh, and I compiled PD Games Disk 12 too. Dunno why, it just had to be done. Some workdudes decided to chop down the large tree outside my window which gave me a brand new view down the road. To drown out the noise of chainsaws I played 'SuperCute' at some SEVERE volumes. For todays lunch I had something a bit fab. It was my Sunday dinner which was cooked for me yesterday (surprisingly) which I didn't eat because I was too busy being frightened by Sil(ly Sam). I reheated the nosh a treat and made some GREAT gravy. Yuummmmmm. Sloooo. I ambled around the town in the afternoon and purchased 'The Empire Strikes Back' in super-duper WIDESCREEN. Once back home I watched most of it with my little bruv and we had a 'Crunchie party'. As I wanted to tape 'Space Precinct' too we had to stop watching 'Empire'. Gah! My guts were so stuffed after my lovely dinner I had trouble eating my tea. It was a big pie type device with more GRAVY and spuds etc. Gravy is my middle name today ... ! What did the evening bring me? My Scully back!! Yep, Scully has returned to the 'X-Files' so I can continue life with renewed vigour. It wasn't exactly the most action packed and scary episode I've seen but there was a neat (and almost predictable) spooky ending to it. That's all you are gonna get from me folks. I'm now going to get my head down so I can shake off this ailment which is starting to annoy me. (Even though I've been suffering with it for a good few days. Am I cool or what?!) Enuff, enuff. See yoo. From:- CancerMan?! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday October 17th 1995. "Pepsi Max tastes like PISS". Yawnity yawn ... I'd just like you to know that I'd much rather be sniggling into the Binary Zone bed than sitting here typing this shite. I feel like an absolute WRECK and I've still got a cold. How could this happen?! I had a cold last only month! My immune system must be fired. What the blazes did I do today then I hear you all mutter. Hmmmmm, Firstly I got up and prepared myself for another day on this funky planet. The morning was frittered away doing some BZ orders (one of which I hasn't been paid for yet! I trust chicks - it's official!) After all the fun and frolics of doing some BZ bits I concocted a nice lunch. Chippies, chicken thingies (kwuff!) and onion rings were what I made. Aren't I clever?! (Naaahhhhh). Where did I venture off to after that then? The fraggin' TOWN! Yeeee! What a hootle I had in the town (almost). I paid a few quid into the bonk (hurg!) Hmmm, it was actually over 130 quid! NOT BAD! I then went and posted an order for 250 blank disks and ... uh oh, I'm a glutton for punishment! I'VE ORDERED ANOTHER SCULLY PIC!! Yep, all the days I was fretting about the other Scully pics arriving are set to begin all over again. This time I ordered a 20" x 16" SuperPrint of 'wet hair Scully'. I collected my likkle bruv on the way home and then spent the afternoon mucking around on the sixty phwoar. I spent absolutely AGES trying to update a SEUCK game for the CZ covermount. It took a while to remember how to install in-game and front-end tunes but the plan came together in the end ... Now all I need is a couple of good military-esque choonz. (IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND!!) I then boinged into beddiebyes and watched a couple of old episodes of the 'X-Files'. Spooky moment of the day:- Scully was lying in bed and it showed her bedside clock:- 11:21pm. I looked across at my bedside clock. It said 11:21pm!! That is the honest to Crom truth! Goodnight readers. From:- Klisje-Paa-Klisje. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday October 18th 1995. Okeydokey me old mateyskips, Kenz here with todays events - typed in at 10:09pm on Wednesday October 17th 1995. Background music is being supplied by Uncle Tom (?!) and is being performed by HippoPlayer v2.06. (mod.MentalHangover if you must know ... Oh, its just changed to mod.Tennis2. Nice). Thunketty whump. Post. What have we here then? Package from Waz, package from Daz "THE SPAZ" Shaw, yet more orders for CZ. Kewl. Waz supplied an updated version of the Kenzterview which will DEFINITELY be used on the CZ covermount. There was a SPECCY tape in the package from Daz "THE SPAZ" Shaw. I tried to load it into my Speccy emulator but did it load? Did it cobblers. I guess I'll have to send it to Jon "JON" Wells. That's exactly what I did! I typed out a quick letter to Jon and then wrapped up the tape. SORTED. I then lumbered up the town with a big empty box. Why? Because today is the day I get another 50 copies of 'CZ' printed. GLOBULE! DISASTER #1:- It printed the mags out okay but some of the pages got jumbled up! JINKEYS! I had to lumber all the way home with the unfinished mags and sort them all out. This didn't take all that long but it meant I had to traipse all the way back up the town with a BIG box of mags. BLEGO. DISASTER #2:- The binding machine screwed up over half of my mags! NO WAY! The staples were put all over the place apart from in the middle of the mag. FROTTAGE! I had to plod home AGAIN with a staple remover and salvage what I could. Luckily, I got a lift to and from the town the third time round. Thanx Mom! I rebound about 25 mags and got FREE new covers on all the manky ones. Good old Ian at the copy place knocked a fiver off the bill for my trouble so each copy of CZ cost me 70 pee to print. That's worth a few extra staple holes in some of 'em! Blimey jings, that little adventure took most of the day! I spent a while adding adhesive stuff to a few mags and then whizzed downstairs to watch and tape an UNSEEN episode of Trek TNG. Strange stuff. 'Q' is GOD?! I want to join Starfleet and serve on the Enterprise. I'll then get injured and then wake up in sickbay to the sight of Dr Bev leaning over me. (Just leave me alone with my sad fantasies for a while okay?!) Yummola. My tea was LUSH tonight. "Chicken Tonight". I then spent a good yonk on the phone and then decided to write my diary. Been there, done that. And now, with mod.PuggsEnd playing (Jarre samples alert!) I'll bid you farewell until tomorrow. Ciao for a tad! From:- Killer Rings (© Piles gags inc). -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday October 19th 1995. Hellooooooo! Lumme! More post, more orders. The Zone seems to be rather popular at the moment. I'm having trouble keeping up with all this work, not that I'm complaining though!! I had a completely fabbotastic idea for a C64 music demo today. The selector screen would be based on the Amiga ProTracker editor and all the tunes would be renditions of famous Amiga tunes! Here's what tunes would suit the demo - so far:- mod.R-Type (title theme) - Mystery demo (BZD030). mod.X-Out - Music Invasion 1 (BZD085). mod.ShadowOfTheBeast - Acme music selectors (BZD293). mod.Utopia (title theme) - Legoland 3 (BZD272). mod.Checknobankh - Mad Noises disk (BZD288). mod.Enigma - Hexagone 2 (BZD217). mod.PuggsInSpace! - Faces contact demo. mod.EndTheme - 4th Dimension intro (BZD094). Hmmm. Only eight tunes ... There's bound to be some more conversions of classic Amiga mods kicking around though. Wait a seccy, eight tunes? Maybe they could all be resident in memory at once?!?! That would RULE! After designing a spiffing sounding demo in my minds-eye I suddenly felt the urge to steam up the town. Unsurprisingly enough, that's exactly what I did. Eeeh, while I was ambling around the town I bought my first chrimble prezzie!! It's a book called "Balti - The complete cookbook" and I'm going to give it my mummy for an Xmas Chortle (tm). Stumbled back to the Zone ... The rest of the afternoon and quite a large chunk of the evening was squandered watching telly. I taped 'Trek DS9' which was quite entertaining and I also scoped out 'Police, Camera, ACTION!' which was pretty damn SMAAART! Thermal imaging cameras are AWESOME!! I don't fancy running away from one of those things, I'd stick out like a sticky-outy thing (kwig!). I've had enough of this for one day. Catchyalater! From:- Kwah! (I said it!) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday October 20th 1995. "Collett keeps his farts in there ... LOST FARTS!" Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeetings girls and boys (and Collett). Ecky-thump, what a HECTIC day I had today. Things were going well until I spent 3 HOURS on the phone! 3 HOURS! And I had lots of things to get sorted too. Bloody flip! Who was I rattling to for so long today then? Russ Michaels and Jon Wells, that's who. I'm glad it wasn't on my phone bill, it's big enough as it is (and so is my phone bill - babum!) FRENETIC RUSH AROUND TIME! I frantically packed some essentials ready for this weekends fun and frolics. After I had chucked a few belongings into a bag - "I'm fine as long as I've got some kegs" I was ready for the trip. We're off to Weston-Super-Mud for some dirt bike beach racing and grog guzzling. FUN! I just about had enough time to whizz up the town to get a few things sorted. I picked up a copy of the new 'TV Zone' because it had some good Babylon 5 type things in it. That'll be something good to read if I get a spare minute in Weston. We then vrooooooooooooomed down the motorway and I killed time by blasting cool sounds out of my walkman (Bigod 20 of course). The journey didn't seem to take that long and we found the hotel straight away too. I had my own room (No. 6) complete with bed, telly, bog and tea making things etc. I instantly trashed it - because I could! (I didn't really, silly!) We made very good use of the BAR in the evening. Lots of lager was consumed and things got a bit silly. Various things were slung around (having a fan on the ceiling of the bar area was a MISTAKE) and I ended up WEARING quite a large amount of lager. I staggered back to No. 6 and crashed in the general direction of the bed. And here I am, far from home, far from THE ZONE! Slur! Ya basts! etc. From:- Bucket and Spade. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday October 21st 1995. "Excuse me, do you realise there's a table following you?" [Diary entry missing due to alcoholic consumption!] -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday October 22nd 1995. "My t-shirt smelt like a glass of lager". [Diary entry missing due to alcoholic consumption!] -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday October 23rd 1995. "Did you have to drink some chuck?". Jongolongo gang! After the weekends japes things seem to have returned to normal. The postie didn't bring anything thrilling. No Scully pic (!) or no FeekZoid package. My disks didn't arrive today either. That SUCKS. I've got a LOT of work to get sorted out so I prepped some tapes and got them ready for evac. It took quite a while to get them duplicated and tested - it seems I'll have to remaster 'BZT006' next. That should be fun, digi-demos are such a JOY to work with ... ! A hefty chunk of the morning was spent preparing copies of 'CZ' to be posted. I think I got about five copies of the mag sorted which isn't bad going I spoze. Ab-fab dinner today. Chips, onion rings and spicy southern fried chicken portions. Bloody LOVELY. I watched a chunk of Trek TNG while I munched the aformentioned savouries. I plurdled up the town at some point after 3pm. Walked past a flock of chicks which were thrusting in my direction. Nice view. After getting some flyers copied I bought some blank tapes and then whooshed back to the Zone like I had a purpose. I did, it was to finish remastering 'BZT003'. I haven't touched it for yonks so it's about time I got it sorted. Ummmm, not quite a good idea. It's now 10pm and I'm still re-crunching a demo half way through the side I'm working on. TIIIME CONNSSSUUUMMIINNNGG! My little bruv asked to see my old 'Jedi' sticker album but when I got it out of the cupboard it was disintegrating! I covered it in adhesive wrap and now it's as strong as my breath after a balti (quite strong). Scorching 'X-Files' tonight. Scully is officially back (and she said so too) and there was a neat silicon based fungal-beastie in it. ("See my throat?" BULGE!! POP!!! BITS!!). I'm now going to 'carry on crunching' (HUYAHA!). See ya tomorrow vliblets! From:- Bogey the Fungusman. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday October 24th 1995. "Please replace the handset and try again ... f*cking NO!". Greetings once again MORTALS. Hold on a sec, I'm going to splash around in the sink for a minute which hopefully keep me awake for long enough to type this gobshite. HOLD ON! Plish! Plash! Plaph! VERDUMPSH! Etc etc. (That sounded more like I was having a CRAP than having a WASH! HEHE!) Reet then, I wokeydokey up and switched on the telly to watch 'The Pirates of Dark Water'. Cool cartoon that. The postie then shoved LOADS of post into the Zone. It's a pity I've got about FOUR 'in-trays' at the moment or I could have got some of it sorted out today! GUMPH! Once I was up, around, washed and dreezed I continued to work on 'BZT003'. After a good couple of hours the master tape was complete!! YYYEEEESSSSS! I then duplicated it and worked on the inlay while I tested the copy (which worked PERFECTLY). At the same time I was doing all that I also cleared a pile of post! I just grabbed a pile off the floor and methodically worked my way through it until it was gone. I also prepared a package for Russ Michaels which contained SEVENTY old 'CZ' flyers for him to spread. Good lad. "Ham sangers!" shouted my stomach, and I obeyed. By around 4pm the inlay for 'BZT003' was ready to be copied and a nice little heap of post was prepared. I then set a course for the town and engaged at half impulse power (I was in no rush). When I reached town centre I paid a few quid into the bank and drew out a couple of sheets. I blew my sheets (?!) on the W I D E S C R E E N version of 'Return of the Jedi'!! When I took it to the counter the helpful assistant asked me if I was collecting the set. I said "Yes" and she asked me if I had a box for them. "?" She then gave me a lovely limited edition collectors box to put my Star Wars tapes in!! NIIIICE! It was a bit spawny I got that because I almost bought that tape from Menzies instead of Smiths. Whew! I then got some 'BZT003' inlays copied, bought some Pork Crackles (MmMmMm!) and then ploodled home in some severly pants weather. WIND! RAIN! DULL! The evening was spent duplicating a MASS of tapes (Well, FOUR actually), watching Jedi in PRO-LOGIC SURROUND (utterly entertaining) and typing this stuff. Ooh, Waz rang to sort out 'The Tip Zone' for 'CZ' and I had a chat with Mat too. Tits of the day:- Sally / Home & Away. (BIG!) Bed beckons ... G'night. From:- Jet Set Willy. P.S. Still no Scully pic, FeekZoid package or disks. TARNATION! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday October 25th 1995. "That Ewok has got a GUN!". Hallo turds, Znekk is back on da keyz with todays thrilling events captured for all time in stunning ASCII-O-VISION. The day got off to a pretty damn fine start because a large jiffy smacked onto my doormat (fungle!). The FeekZoid warez had ARRIVED! RELIEF! I decided not to instantly wade into the package but do some work first!! (Why??? Dunno! I'm just a crazy brain-damaged fooooooool!). I skipped brekkie because the selection of cereals in the cupboard were not to my liking. Don't worry chums, I'm not turning into one of those anorak-sick people, I pigged out at dinner time! So that was the morning, lots of packages prepared. I must say that my tape duplication system is being a real HERO at the moment. Good stuff! The large lunch I mentioned a moment ago consisted of beefsteaks and LOTS of waffles. Buuurp! There was STILL no sign of my disks in the afternoon so I decided to ring my supplier to see what the frig was going on. I had received the invoice a few days ago but no freaking disks. I spoke to a chap called Ian and he told me they had been delivered and signed for LAST WEEK!! NOT TO THIS ADDRESS MATE! The worst possible thing has happened. The stupid idiots at ParceLine had got it wrong AGAIN but this time some other dickhead had signed for a package which was NOT for them and KEPT IT! RED ALERT! A very panicked couple of hours enused with me going door to door trying to locate my package. No dice. Interestingly, there are some nice people living in Portland Road who I've never seen before! Strange that. I fumed up the town after that and posted my bits and got an inlay copied. I then seethed back to the Zone and spent a while on the phone trying to work something out with my supplier. They kindly agreed to send another shipment of disks to me FREE OF CHARGE. PHHHEEWWW! Unfortunately they won't reach me until FRIDAY and I've got to send them a letter explaining the whole situation. HASSLE. I'll do that first thing tomorrow. I calmed down in the evening because another unseen episode of Trek TNG was on and they spent the duration of this episode at DS9! Good one! It was around 7:30pm when I finally got to check out FeekZoids sending, and what a sending it was too! Plenty of awesome modules composed by FeekZoid, PlaySID goodies (FeekZoid DIGI toons!!) and some smart ripped zax including a couple of surprises! Pure entertainment! The rest of the evening was whiled away updating my FeekZoid module list and reviewing his new compositions. I lunged into bed pretty late and watched the episode of Airwolf that I taped last Saturday. It was a good episode too. After that - SNORING SOUNDS! From:- Stringfellow Kenze. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday October 26th 1995. "And here I am still at the farting competition". Gnnnnn, another diary to type. That's JUST what I want to do after a hectic day running the Zone. Oh well, I'll be glad I've done it tonight rather than have to do TWO DAYS worth of diary tomorrow ... Let's go! Todays first task was to type a letter to Direct Disk Supplies explaining the situation about the lost disks. I filled an A4 sheet with wibble and slapped it in an envelope. PHEWIE! I was glad to get that sucker out of the way. For an encore I did a few TAPE orders because I've got no bloody blank disks at this momento. Gah! HEHE! I received another 'rival' fanzine this morning. 'Commodore Action'. Nice screenshots, NICE AND MESSY! You can't make out ANY of them! SHAME. After all that haaaarrrd work I felt the need to scoof. I nuked the tea I left last night and it was rather tasty. I'm a dab hand with microwaves me. I'm to microwaved food what Fred West is to killing people ... Erm, good at it I mean ... Aaah forgerrit. I continued to wade through FeekZoids massive sending at various points in the day. Much fun. Plenty of swag for me, too much to list here. I got a lift in the general direction of Mikes house and met him in the piddly RAIN. We grumbled towards the town and I dropped off some packages while Mike visited the Job Centre. Heh heh, that's just inspired a new phrase:- Jobbie Centre = TOILET! Once our town chores were complete we went back to Mikes abode. He showed me his animated mouse pointers on his PC, Heretic 2 (nice, smooth, fast, seen it all before etc) and Primal Rage ... BRILLIANT! It craps on the SNES version from a very great height. I couldn't stay for too long at Mikes because Trek DS9 was on and I wanted to tape it. Plod plod plod, SPAR ... Buy packet of Pork Crackles ... Plod plod plod, another shop, buy small roll of sellotape ... Plod plod plod, HOME. I had to dry myself off thanks to the PANTS weather and them settle down for Trek DS9 which was froopy. Big Pizza for tea. Scrum-ish. (The crust was a bit frazzled, calm down Mom!) The evening was spent watching 'Batman Returns', adding adhesive stuff to eight issues of 'CZ' (which will be posted tomorrow if my cowing disks arrive) and playing on my mig-mog. That's about it for today. I need to slake my thirst with a drink and then I'm off to beddiebyes. Party on dudes! From:- Kenny Baker. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday October 27th 1995. "Lots of fun and folics with the Savage music in the background HUYAHH!" Hallo slimelings, Jings! It's effing COLD today. BrRrRrRrRr. Slightly poor amount of post today. ONE measly package. It DID contain 'The Tip Zone' for 'CZ' written by Waz which is somewhat froopy mind you. There was still no sign of disks at lunchtime, so much for an morning delivery. After I had guzzled some ham sangers I rang my supplier to find where the f*ck my disks were. I was spun some sort of sob story about their computers going down ("you're going daaahhhn you slaaaaag") and the delivery not being sent ... ! I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL MORNING FOR THAT! Not good. Didn't do much in the afternoon, there's not exactly much I can do with NO blank disks. Instead of working I made a nice curry pot-noodle and chomped it while watching an episode of Trek TNG (Wednesdays to be precise). I had an amusing phone-call from FeekZoid. He was going on about HIS cartoon which was about to start. Sure enough, there's a new cartoon on ITV called 'FREAKAZOID' about a computer buff/super hero! SPOOKY! My disk suppliers rang up to tell me that one of them is going to PERSONALLY bring my disks up from London!!!! HUH?! Yup, apparently, a chap there is going to Birmingham for the weekend so he's going to drop them off on the way. Cool! There was a classic selection of comedy shows on in the evening. I watched 'NOT THE NINE O'CLOCK NEWS' (quite funny), 'SHOOTING STARS' (I laughed for so long my sides began to hurt) and 'HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU' which was also damn fine. Who was that bird on 'Shooting Stars' with the BIG KNOCKERS? I can't remember her name but she gets the TITS OF THE DAY award. Sure enough, Ian from Direct Disk Supplies dropped off my disks at around 9:30pm!! Good one! It's a pity I won't be able to use any of them until next week. Busy weekends RULE! See ya! From:- Kold! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday October 28th 1995. "An entire LEGION of my best troops await them ..." Hellibble slitch! What a splendiferous day today was. Chortle followed jape which followed wheeze etc. I didn't do much of note first thing, just the usual got up, got dressed type routine. Oh, and I watched the Batman cartoon which was an oldie because it introduced two-face (in a way completely different to 'Batman Forever'). Collett and Mez surged into the Zone and we then headed towards that great mystical place known as the UCI cinema. Once there we pushed and shoved our way around the Merry Hell centre which was HEAVING - it's SATURDAY today see! I purchased the Star Wars THX remastered video type thingy and lucky old me got a FREE hologram in it. Woo! It was then time to leap a fence and steam into the cinema. MORTAL KOMBAT was todays movie event. Collett treated me and Mez to a hot-dog because he won a FIVER on a scratchcard. Yippee! I splarged plenty of mustard and ketchup on mine (which ended up on my leg strangely enough). The film was ace. It was just like the game but done in the style of a umm, film! Lots of neat touches from the game were included and Sonya was veeeeeeeeeeeerrrrryyyyy cute indeed. Thrusty tight top babe alert! Princess Kitana invoked some horn too. Good fights, good effects, good grief! Goro was LARGE! The only drawback was some KIDS who were sat behind us announcing each character as they appeared. SHALAP! After the film we went for some munchies. We had our first KFC drive-in meal which was amusing - Collett classics time! "Hello?" he announced loudly to the speaker while looking for buttons to press. Me and Mez smirked profusely while Collett ordered the scram. OMM-YOMM! As an extra treat a nice girly gave us a wave as we roared away. Kewl! I was dropped back home and only had time to watch part of Gladiators before I had to get ready to go out again! Look out pub, here we COME! Collett picked me up and we drove to Mez's digs which was where Collett was crashing for the night. A chilly walk to the pub followed but soon we were happily skulling grog. A real HOOT happened later in the evening. A girl with a SHORT skirt on was sat on a barstool in front of us. Her skirt had ridden up her back and we were treated to a perfect view of her ARSE. There were two girls sat near to us who were laughing at us having a chortle at the arse. To make things even more classic Collett laughed OUT LOUD every time he turned to check out the view!! HEHEHE! Lots of lager was followed by a glass of peach shnapps each. I was served by the barmaid who we all fancied - long dark hair, see-thru blouse and long Beth Jordache-esque skirt (somehow). We all staggered back to our respective crash sites when it was chucking out time. My b**ocks were frozen off and my foot hurt by the time I got home. PISSED, HOME, COLD, NOW! BED! SLEEP! ZzZzZzZzZz. Cheeriebye! From:- A pint of Karling please pretty barmaid. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday October 29th 1995. "Bleh, not gorgeous". Grrrooooaaaannnn!! TITANIC HANGOVER TIME! Yes fans, I woke up feeling like DOG POO. My head was in a right 'two and eight' so I stumbled downstairs for some Alka-Seltzer. Drank it, rushed to the sink, BLOOARGH! Got dressed, BLOOARGH! Prepared some stuff to take to Mats, BLOOARGH! I just kept on delivering those wet belches and felt generally ill. NEVER AGAIN! (Until the next time!) Feeky rang, Collett arrived, HANGOVER! Went to Mats, tablets, HANGOVER! Copy, swag, japes, jaz kelk etc. Ping pong fight, sausage stab, meat on the shelves. Leave, laser, home, balti, bed. What an odd diary entry ... ! From:- Synaptic Failure. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday 30th October 1995. "Nooo, my cheek! - Which one? Upper or lower?" Helloooooooooooooooooo! That was a good prod I gave my 'O' key. I hope it enjoyed being prodded like that. Erm, ummm, okay. Here's what was 'going down' today:- As soon as I woke up I fumbled around (kwerk!) searching for my remote control. Once it was located I switched on the telly and watched the 'Pirates of Dark Water'. No time to lounge in bed though, lots to do today. As I had so many disks to copy I decided to have a bash at fixing my 1541 disk-drive. I dismantled it (BITS EVERYWHERE) and ended up adding a washer to the drive. It worked even LESS than before! YEEK! I removed the washer and put the drive back together. I was surprised to find I had remedied the original problem SOMEHOW and it now happily reads any disks I chuck into it! DOOIII?! I then rearranged the room so my cruddy Oceanic drive was back in its old hidey hole. I then did LOTS of packages, had an AMAZING lunch (roast beef platter with toad in the hole) and then I spent the afternoon doing even MORE work (and compiled a BOOOORING tape). I must have got a bit carried away because by the time I was prepped for a journey up town it was getting DARK! As it looked a tad chilly outside I decided not to go. Instead I watched Grange Hill. There's a REALLY cute chick in it but I'm afraid I can't remember her name. BAH! Hold on, yes I can! It's JESSICA! Long of legs, short of skirt. After that excitement (?) I taped Space Precinct and had my tea. 'X-Files' was great tonight. Scully looked cute and at one point she was EATING A PLATE OF SPARE RIBS!!! Swooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon! I love the way they use camera shots of her even if she isn't saying anything ... ! I don't feel like typing any more. I'm going away. See ya! From:- Me! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- TUESDAY 31st October 1995. "It's Colletts round - AGAIN! (Even though he bought the last one)". Hi! Well, frig my frogs, I've certainly let this diary slip towards the end of this month. It's getting to be a pain in the bot to type up this stuff but STILL I forge on with it. Gaah! Hey, nice prezzie in the post today ... Ryan Barrett bought me a Beverly Crusher bookmark from the Trek exhibition in London. There was a bit of a mad dash first thing this morning because I was getting a lift into Worcester thanks to Mummy. I painted my arse blue and grew wings so I could fly around preparing my bits. (There was a vague 'blue arsed fly' gag in that last sentence!) The main thingy I wanted to get ready was a package for Androo Robertz. Those Protracker logo bits MUST be posted today. A darned fine disk was duly prepped and is now ready for posting. HA! Am I good or what?! I floated into Worcester and busied myself grabbing essential supplies. I purchased 20 disks from Antics (branded TDK suckers - NICE), 6 blank C60's from WHSmiths, copies and envelopes from Concorde Stationary (my fave girly was there and she remembered me! SHUCKS!) I blurbled my way to the Post-Office and saw that the queue was OUT THE DOOR! Fak that, onto the train I jumped (after a 20 minute wait). The train is worth a mention, a nice new express jobbie (hehe!) with plush seats, carpet, tables etc. Nice and quiet too. I was forced to wait in the effing queue in the Droitwich Post-Office to get rid of my packages. I then went and bought 10 blank tapes from Menzies along with some scoofables and then I bought an ERMI ROLL in an effort to stop my stomach from rimbling. Plod, traipse, amble ... HOME. While I munched my eatables I watched an episode of Trek TNG ("Parallels"). Good food, good viewing. In the afternoon I had a 'label the disk time'. With my nice new Amiga disks I sorted out various demos. A good yonk was spent in the evening compiling a new PlaySID disk which contains all the new FeekZoid PlaySID bits. It's pretty good too - even if I do say so myself. (I'm the only person who has currently seen it!!) I'm afraid to say this was the NAFFEST Halloween of all time. We didn't do ANYTHING spooky although little bruv painted his face several unusual colours (mess!). I ALMOST had a game of Cauldron 2 - but didn't. I wonder if there's a 'Halloween' movie on the telly ... I'm off to find out! That's about all you're getting for today. Go and slingeth your hook. From:- Koin-op Konversion. End of the day, end of the month ... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-