Hold on to your butts, Kenz is back in the year 1995 to present more diary chortles in what should prove to be a very 'interesting' year. I didn't keep a diary last year which is good because 1994 was a load of shite. The only good thing to occur in '94 was ... Pork Crackles?!?! Anyway, onwards and upwards we go ... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday Jan 1st 1995. Aha! No hangover for me chums, due to having the lurgey I decided not to get too blasted down at the Spring Meadow. There were quite a few familiar faces at the pub last night so I will attempt to tap an inventory of them for you to enjoy. Starring at the Spring Meadow on New Years Eve 1994 were:- Kenz, Collett, Mez (briefly), Mrs Mez, Dave Morley, Paul 'Moi-Dieb' Foster, Chris 'Wild Man Of Borneo' King, Big Rob, Cute blonde chick from the castle, nice chick with loud trousers (also from the castle), Esther! (Shwing!), Tubbs and Murdoch (from the A-Team). (!) There was also that mutant trog who fancied collett but I won't mention her. Oops, I think I just did! Morley did lots of classic things on the way home, he slid along the ground like a sliding sliddle, fell over on a slippy fence and he set fire to a bin just as a cop car came along. Nice one Dave! (Guffaw!) Anyway, all that was yesterday. Let's get on with today. Collett was collected by his old man at about 11 O'Clock and I just slobbed around the house after that for the most part. I feel sodding UNWELL due to massive sore throat so I croaked, wheezed and coughed quite a bit. In the afternoon I watched the start of Star Trek III before we all left for Phoebe's birthday party! This party was pretty cool even though I felt BAAAAAD. Angie introduced me to her chum as a Womaniser which was a correct description! Arf arf! I skulled tons of bottles of grog before my good friend 'Shnapps' arrived at the party. I should have been VERY PISSED due to the amount I demolished but I wasn't which is 'cool and the gang'. We watched Mrs Doubtfire before returning to the Zone. I took an overdose of cold cure drugs and then hit the sheets ... NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS: ====================== 1. To pay off all my debts. 2. To keep this bloody diary going for more than two months! Thus endeth day 1 of the year they call 1995. Cheerio gang! - Kabenga. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday Jan 2nd 1995. Cough! Splutter! Well, I'm doing pretty well so far this year. I feel like shite! Oh well ... I decided to have a go at clearing my backlog (I said log) but only got as far as the first order. Why? Because he asked for the 'Amiga PD Music Mix 1' and guess what? I have erased it! Tee Hee! Time for a bit of re-recording methinks. Andy 'Vics Anti-Snot' Roberts rang. He has also got the lurgey, mange, gout, ricketts, leprosy and trench head. I'd better get some cool PD warez posted to him this week or my name will be 'Megatronix'. Quote of the day: "Does that ring a bell? A very small one with 'please don't ring' written on it". Jon also phoned so I croaked at him for a couple of hours down the phone. Things are looking up for the '64 scene, I just hope he can get control of the CF Powerpack ... That would be cool. We also decided that the first issue of 'Commodore Zone' will be PAPER only with a coupon to obtain the covermount. All I need to do now is create a brilliant magazine out of thin air. No problemo! Getting back to the 'Amiga PD Music Mix 1', I got all of side 1 done and a couple of tunes on side 2 sorted. Hopefully I will get it finished tomorrow so check out the next exciting installment of 'The Meaning Of Kenz'. (I think that means 'read the next bit of this diary'!) Oh yeah, I watched 'Superman IV - The Quest For Peace' today. What a complete crock of shit! The effects were hyper bad but not as bad as the story etc etc. Yawn. Superman? Super-imposed man more like. One final statement of biblical proportions - I think my left mouse button is knackered. Flaps! G'night! From:- Kowabunga. P.S. (Cough! Sniff!) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday Jan 3rd 1995. Wotcha froods. Here I am again with some waffle about the numerous hilarous happenings that ocurred today. (Cancel lie mode). Okay, so sod all happened but this diary would would be lame if I just said 'sod all happened' and then buggered off. So what did I actually DO? Well, by the end of the day I had FINISHED the new version of 'Amiga PD Music Mix 1'. Yippy yup. Oh and I fixed my mouse so it is all better now (I think). I still feel a tad unwell so what did I do for an encore? Hurt my back! Now I can croak, drool snot from my nose, limp around in pain while holding a throbbing head all at the same time. (Yes, I know I said 'holding' and 'throbbing'). Mucho fun. Where's me bottle of paracetamol?! Ooooh, Waz sent me his 1995 demo which was pretty neat. Blimey, I owe him about 8 disks and a video tape. C'mon Kenz, GET WELL! (Says Planet Earth). Gah! I'm bored with droning on about how unwell I am ... Time to go. Seeee yooooo. From:- Katanga. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday Jan 4th 1995. Live long and prosper Earthlets. Today is national 'Ensign Ro' day!! Hooray! Yup, that was the episode of Star Trek The Next Generation that aired tonight. She is nice ... DAMN! I like women with ATTITUDE. Ones that treat you mean to keep you keen are just so cool. Hmmmmm, feel pretty good today. My back is better and the lurgey seems to be clearing up. I can almost talk again! Woooo! Still got a bloody sodding cough though. Deja vu from 1993 or what?! I've really started to get some work done and I even plodded up the town to post the vast array of packages that have been lurking around the Zone. I did a package for Waz that featured 4 of the 8 disks I owe him. I'll have to get his chortles vid sorted out soon or my name will be Brian Cant. (Not exactly sure why though). Rich appeared and dropped of his Chrimble prezzie to me which was four lager glasses. Lucky it wasn't a cocktail glass or I would have fallen over instantly. (Private joke no. 52,876,320). Track of the day: 'The Big Beat' (Cappella). Not much else happened so I'm going to cavort into bed now. Cheerio readers! From:- Klabnezz. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday Jan 5th 1995. Cough! Splutter! Wheeze! Alright kidz? I feel a quote from 'The Fly II' coming. "I'm getting .. BETTER!". Yup, I feel quite groovy although my sodding cough continues to piss me right off. I'm bored with this 'being unwell' game. Can I stop now? Disaster has struck FeekZoid. His video did not tape Star Trek yesterday so he missed the lovely Ensign Ro. Unlucky or what?! It's one of the best episodes with her in too. Oh well ... Got a package posted to Anthropoid Robotnik today which was stuffed with swag to review in CF. I also tried to contact Karen Levell at CF but she didn't ring me back even though I left my number and an amusing message. (I thought it was amusing anyway). In the afternoon and evening I compiled some BZ disks and added some descriptions to 'Update 9'. I also rang Mike and will be going to his place on Saturday for a PC session. I hope I get to add some bits to 'Update 9' because I want to get it posted out by the end of next week. It took me *AGES* to compile the 'Xentrix Demo Disk 2'. People just don't realise what goes into making these PD compilations. Rich appeared (again) and this time he dropped off a blank tape for a copy of 'The Fly' and 'The Fly II'. I added the Chortles classic 'Here's mine, THE FLY!' to his tape. That should induce a grin or two. A new series of 'Outside Edge' began this evening. Josie Lawrence is just sooooo cool in it. Yum! She has got big knockers. (Obvious statement). Track of the day: A remix of 'Maximum Overdrive' (2 Unlimited). I'm now gonna take some paracetamol, swig some Veno's and then rush at the best possible speed to the land of nod. See ya in 24 hours or so. From:- Kough! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday Jan 6th 1995. Egogg! It's Friday folks and you know what that means ... Cleaners alert! The fiends arrived at 8:00am and clattered around the Zone with noisy hoovers etc etc. Of course, none of this got on my nerves. (FURY! FUME!) Got a package from Betrayer this morning. At last I have a 100% working version of 'Morbid Art 3' and 'A.O.S 3'. Kewl. Carried on compiling BZ disks. Hey, they should make a film called 'Carry On Compiling' which would feature me working away in the Zone. Then this bird walks in and her clothes fall off and and and and ... etc. Oops, little daydream there folks, I hope you enjoyed it. Where was I? Oh yeah, compiling. Anyway, I got lots of disks sorted and descriptions tapped into my mig-mog. All was going fine until ... 'Graveyard Blues 3' by Topaz. The finished disk was looking SMAAAART but then I actually tested the demo. There's a picture of a NAKED CHICK in it. Fannytastic!! It's not that I mind that sort of thing of course, but when a little kiddy shows the pic to his Mummy and the cast of 'The Bill' arrive here things get a tad serious. Bah! Did I mention I bought the 'Brookside' mag the other day? Well, Beth was on the cover so I stood little chance of resisting it. There's some well cool piccies of her inside too. (Not piccies of her insides you fool). Hit the town in the afternoon and bunged some packages in the post. I cleared out my bank account in order to pay off some money towards my prologic surround sound amp. Isn't it just the WORST thing when you have to pay lots of cash for something you've had for a while?! Had my first flutter on the lottery today. I had a fiver burning a hole in my pocket so I decided to have a bash. May the mighty Crom grant me good fortune this weekend. On the way home I dropped Rich's tape through his door. Haven't heard from him yet though. Seeing Mike at the start probably made him hide behind the curtains. Hey, I've just noticed I haven't been mentioning the TIME that I typed this stuff - unlike back in 1993. Well, who gives a TURD what the time is anyway?! (Actually, it's 11:03pm for chrono-buffs who are listening). Bloody hell, I've rambled a bit today. Nothing else to report so I'll end this transmission. Bye bye! (Clik! Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz). From:- Ken Dodd. P.S. It's the Beavis & Butt-Head 'Moronathon' tonight! Over two hours of it! Huh huh! Cool! Mh! Mh! Huh huh! That rules ... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday Jan 7th 1995. Captains Log, USS Binary Zone - Intimidator class. Captain Kenz reporting. I've just watched Star Trek VI on BBC1. Bloody cool stuff but they didn't show the extra bits you get on the video version. That doesn't matter an awful lot because the video version is over there on my shelf. Guess what folks ... I WON THE LOTTERY!!! Well, a tenner anyway! It was on the first line of numbers too. If there's a decent prize next week then I may have another go. We'll see ... Oh yeah, even with my new found wealth I will still continue to run Britains leading C64 PD supplier. (After I've rushed to the pub with my tenner and skulled some grog. Arf arf!) Most of today was spent finishing off those catalogue descriptions for Update 9. I was supposed to go to Mikes to tap them in but he was busy playing with his new Star Trek game cards so I couldn't go. (No comment). Anyway, I almost got all the disks compiled but one of the disk mags was a pain in the arse so I gave up. How did I combat yesterdays 'Graveyard Blues 3' problem? I used a different demo on the disk and erased its ass. HEHEHE! (Total Recall quote-tastic). I got a bit of the Beavis & Butt-Head 'Moronathon' taped last night but I couldn't be bothered to piddle around finding blank tapes for all of it. (The stuff I did get was cool! Huh huh! Mh!) I still haven't heard Rich's reaction to the 'Here's mine, THE FLY!' additions to his tape. Maybe he's still hiding from the wrath of Mike. Track of the day: Hammer & Cross (Mark Shreeve). So there you go, another day, another dollop. As most of the day was spent compiling disks there's not much to write about so I guess I'd better go. See ya tomorrow gang! From:- Kirk. P.S. Still got a bastard cough. I had a shit nights sleep last night thanks to it so it had better clear up or there will be ... TROUBLE! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday Jan 8th 1995. Wotcha readers! Froopy day today chums. I got up quite early and began the day by compiling 'PD Games Disk 11' which features a lush tune on the note. Rather than fart around with the disk mag that gave me hassle yesterday I simply removed that disk from 'Update 9'. HA! Collett arrived just before 11:00am and we zzoomed off to collect Mez. We then set off for ... The UCI cinema! After we had arrived at the Merry Hill centre we stood around and looked shifty while we waited for the 'KFC' to open. Once we were inside a mutant alien woman served us heaps of scrammy eats. After we had demolished our food we stuffed all the glarged remains into Colletts grub box and added sauce, paper napkins, hand wipes and lashings of cola. The concoction made the box begin to disintegrate! Cool! Once we had finished making a mess in 'KFC' we hit the coin-ops and COMPLETED 'Alien³ - The Gun'. It cost a few quid but was quite enjoyable. We then settled down to watch 'TIMECOP'. Standard sci-fi beat 'em up type film with a VERY silly 'space-car' in it. Mia Sarah is a BABE by the way. A real CLASSIC happened outside the cinema. There I was with half a massive bucket of popcorn left over. Collett suggested I dump it on the roof of his car as he didn't want them all over the interior. This was duly done. He reversed carefully and only a few trickled down the front windscreen. Then, he hit the gas. A flood of popcorn gushed off the back of the car leaving a MASS of mess on the road. Me and Mez were rather impressed by this. (The word 'hysterics' springs to mind). This MUST be done again and caught on film. Hmmmmm, Stargate opens next week. HEHE! Once home I fell asleep watching 'Return from the River Kwai' and watched Roger Rabbit. The poofs at Central cut and dubbed it! A sodding cartoon! To round things off I played a couple of old Amiga games. Ikari Warriors runs like shit off a shovel on the A1200 so my ass was kicked. Had a good blast on Datastorm though, what a WONDERFUL game that is! Track of the day: 'Karpe Diem' (Bigod 20). My cough wasn't too bad today and I got a good nights sleep last night so maybe I am well on the way to a full recovery. Yesssssss! And finally, I've heard from Rich. He was very amused by the extra bits I added to his tape. Kewl. Hokay, I'm knackered so I'll stop tapping now. See ya soon! From:- Kablooey. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday Jan 9th 1995. There was a young table called Fred, who went and had a big plum head. Great start to the day today chums, I got NO post whatsoever! I guess I won't be retiring this week. Bollox. What did I do this morning? Ummmm, I can't remember! Oh yeah, I got a package for Betrayer sorted. Also, I finished off Waz's copy of 'Xmas Chortles - The Movie' and got a lengthy letter for him typed. I would have got it posted too but I noticed that I had put the wrong label on his vid. Oops! It said '1 HOUR OF NON-STOP JAPERY'. That looked really neat on a 4 hour tape - I DON'T THINK! Nyeeeuuuurrrrr! Dashed like a sonofabitch up the town to meet Mike who gave me about 5 minutes notice on the phone. Got Betrayers package posted then went to Mikes house for a massive PC session. I got heaps of catalogue stuff done but I don't know if any of it will get printed because apparently the laser printer Mike uses has no toner left. ARSE! Guffaw, Mikes mate arrived later in the evening. He IS Dennis Nedry! Nice bloke, nice and fat! I forgot to cash in my winning lottery ticket today. EBOING! I'm off into Worcester tomorrow. Wooooooo, early start for Kenz! Finally, my cold has pretty much cleared up. I've been coughing a bit tonight though. Grrrrrrrrr. Yikes, nothing else to report. G'night! I'm off to beddie-byes to read 'Mostly Harmless' by Douglas Adams (again). Fans of my diary japes will remember that I read that in 1993 too. You remember I wondered what happened to the lovely Fenchurch? Well, the book DOES explain things! She was sitting next to Arthur Dent on a space-ship, the ship went into hyperspace and she just disappeared!!!! Hunh?! Oh well! Seeeee Yoooo! From:- Kendo Warrior. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday Jan 10th 1995. Joppa gang, Berlimey, busy day for me today. I got a lift into Worcester first thing and hit McDonalds for some food. Instead, they gave me one of those McMuffin things. I then got all my photocopies sorted out, bought lots of disks along with a disk box and met Mike. We then went to 'Planet X', 'The Last Outpost' and places like that. Hmmmm, shops in Worcester have some funky names. After much wondering around it was Kebab time! This was the first kebab I'd had when I was sober so I could actually taste it. Not bad grub! Once back in good old Droitwich I plodded to Rich's house. He showed me ALL of 'The Lion King' on the SNES and 'Super Return Of The Jelly' which is pretty cool but is slightly strange in places. (What is Eve Nindenine doing on Endor?!) I was rather knackered when I got home so I crashed in the chair and watched lots of soaps. Tina Dingle in Emmerdale IS cute. Silly name though. Also, Natalie in Eastenders is looking good these days. Must be those tight tops she wears. There was a bit of a scary thing on 'GamesMaster' tonight. The lovely Beth from Neighbours was the special guest and she's had her hair cut really short!! Aaaaaaaaargh! I started to tape 'Super Star Stars on' video because I'll be giving it back soon. I got quite far but then Rich rang to tell me a program about UFO's was on. I aborted the game only to find out that there is NO password option for that game! FUME! The program about UFO's was very interesting. So interesting in fact that I fell asleep. This may have been because I was knackered. Time for me to get gone. See ya! From:- Klag. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday Jan 11th 1995. Hobla Dudez, This morning was spent taping ALL of 'Super Star Wars' and some of 'Super Empire' on video. I didn't get all the way through 'Super Empire' but that was no problemo because Mike doesn't need the cartridges back yet. At lunch-time I met Mike up the town and he was carrying my print-outs! Yup, the new toner cartridge has arrived so a rather complete looking 'Update 9' is mine. He also laser printed the 'Jurassic Park' logo which I ported from the Amiga and it looked BLOODY SUPERB! Then came the highlight of the day ... 'Wing Commander III'. An utterly superb piece of softare. Totally compelling and absorbing plot with sodding fast SVGA texture-mapped polygon battles. Whoah! That game RULES! And it's on 4 CD's too! Once back home I nuked my tea which was a sort of dead potato thing and some plastic style lasagne. Drool! Slobber! Watched a cool film on TV and half of the Trek episode 'Aquiel' before reserving a room in a hotel in the land of nod. Ciao for a few hours! From:- Kvvvrtablip. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday Jan 12th 1995. Wiggawoggaweggawugga! Began today by finishing the 'Mostly Harmless' book. Unfortunately, the Earth is blown away and everyone dies. Not exactly the best way to start a day huh readers? Once I was up and around I got busy doing BZ bits. By the end of the morning I got Waz's copy of 'Xmas Chortles - The Movie' all packaged up and plenty of disks copied. I had a good chortle watching some bits of 'Xmas Chortles' when I tried out Waz's copy. There certainly are some extremely classic bits on that tape. I then trundled up the town to get some photocopies and phood! Ermi roll time ... Now that Ermi is under new management the classic Ermi pork roll is DIFFERENT! SACRILAGE! They have changed the bread. I'm going to write to my M.P. (Muncher of Pork). Huh huh! I said 'Pork'! Mh! Huh! Once back at the Zone I watched the rest of 'Aquiel' while scoffing my scram. There's a SMART episode on the same tape called 'Face Of The Enemy'. Troi wakes up as a Romulan! Kewl. What did I do in the rest of the day? Ummmmm, did a bit more BZ work and taped the rest of 'Super Empire'. Unfortunately, There's an hour and a half of it! Too much!! I need to chop it down to an hour so I can fit 'Super Jedi' on the same tape. Oh yeah, I haven't got the lurgey any more (touch wood!) My cough has cleared up (just about). Thank Crom for that. I can't think of anything else to type so I'll sod off. Cheeriebye! From:- Mr Hakamachi. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday Jan 13th 1995. OO-EE-OO! Friday the 13th! Globber! I began this highly unlucky day by running my lottery number generator. We are having TEN goes this week and the jackpot is 17 MILLION QUID! I got lots of packages prepared today which included five Amiga disks for Danny G and the final four disks I owe Waz. I hinted to Waz that I wouldn't mind 'Crash Head' on CD ... Lots of credit for Waz again?! Rich appeared as if by magic at 2:00pm. Well, actually, he just arrived normally. We got some disks copied and then left the Zone for the Post Office. I threw a soggy 'Benny hat' at Rich which was rather amusing. He managed to push his bike over a dog turd so there was a poo having free 'big wheel' rides until he washed the sucker off. After I had traipsed all the way home I watched Grange Hill which was clag because Fran was not in it. Hold on, she hasn't been in it for about two series and was last seen in Emmerdale! Strange that. Babe of the day: Sarah Thompson / Home & Away. She was showing her boobs off in a somewhat tight yellow top. My eyes fell out. In the evening I got FeekZoids massive 17 disk package sorted. He actually rang me up in a semi-drunk state too which is pretty cool. There's no bloody FOOD in this cowing place. I almost STARVED earlier. Well, I spoze I had better be off once again. I'm going to have to watch 'The Word' because 'Beavis & Butt-Head' is on after it. There's also the 'GamesMaster Gore Special' too which might be worth observing. Auf Wiedersehen. From:- Kebab! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday Jan 14th 1995. Greetings my excellent friends. Strange kind of day today. Didn't do much in the morning. I farted around with BZ orders but didn't get very far. This guy sent me his own tape for a BZ compilation but I couldn't duplicate onto the sucker. Bah! This means I'll have to use my OWN tape and write a cruddy letter. Booooooooring! Oh yeah, the 'GamesMaster Gore Special' was actually quite entertaining!! There were TITS in it and lashings of blood. Bloodbath! Cool! Huh huh! I plodded up the town at lunch-time to post FeekZoids package. The post office was CLOSED! Graargh! After being highly impressed by this fact I carried on to Mikes. He showed me his latest batch of Star Trek cards and then I got down to some serious 'Publishing'. Yet another new version of 'Update 9' was created and I even did a mock-up of a page for 'Commodore Zone'. We already have an advertiser ... Mike! Yup, those Star Trek cards will infiltrate our mag. Oh well, It'll fill a page and the advert WAS my idea! I zzoomed home in the evening and then zzoomed back out again to visit Rich. He was busy playing all the way through 'Lion King' so we were a tad late setting out for the Pub. We ended up at the Castle. I saw that nice smiley bird who always wears BLACK ... (Daaaamn! She is COOL!) That canny bit of blonde crumpet appeared then promptly disappeared and Phil popped in with Heidi. (Sounds a bit rude). Mez was also there with Mrs Mez. The bogus part about the evening was getting totally SOAKED on the way home. Not good. And that's all you are getting folks. See ya! From:- Ken Barlow. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday Jan 15th 1995. Howdy Pardners. Began the day in 'slob mode' and just lounged around watching shite on telly. I also prepared a tape to listen to in the car. Yes fans, it's STARGATE day. Don't expect any camera japes though chums, Mez didn't come with us. Bah! Collett arrived and we departed from the Zone with lots of Cappella tracks blasting out of the stereo. Collett did a classic impression of a bit in the track 'Shake Your Body' but you had to be there to appreciate it! We choffed a KFC. I was served by this cute girl with an immaculate complexion. She obviously doesn't eat KFC grub herself. I think we must have hit a time anomoly or something because when we went to watch the film the bastard had already begun! DOI?!?! Oh well, we didn't miss much and it was a pretty splendid film. Bloody noisy too. Once back home I did a really massive fart when I was getting out of Colletts car. Don't you just love it when that happens? Well, I had a good chuckle! Didn't do much in the evening. I started to tape some episodes of Star Trek for Mike. Will the excitement ever end?! Hey, this time two years ago I scoped out my 1989 diary which bought back memories of Helen Wells right? Well, I had a dream about her the other night and she keeps creeping into my thoughts just now. Spooky. Oh yeah, we didn't win anything on the lottery yersterday. ARSE! Found out today that Lucy has turned into a Trekker! Yeeeessssss! Tape of the day: Xmas Chortles 2 (Special Mix). V.V.V.V.V.Funny! Anyway, gotta go, gotta see a man about some kettles. (?) Until next time ... Adios Amiga! From:- Kang. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday Jan 16th 1995. Ahhhh, a nice, new, fresh week is upon us. Once I had leapt out of bed and was ready to take on the World I forged through some unfinished BZ orders and got them all ready for posting. This was hungry work so I ventured into the kitchen to see what there was to munch. I suddenly came over all 'boiled egg' so I launched some bread into the toaster and plopped some eggs into a saucepan. All was going well until I opened the fridge to get the margerine for my bread which had metamorphosised into toast at this point. There was no margerine left. SSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIITTTTTTT! One disgustingly dry meal followed. Blegggg. Harsh language was used when I opened that fridge door I can tell you! I had a bash at compiling the 'Mayhem' demo tape today and got a few programs sorted out. I'll probably tidy them up a bit but at least I made a start on the sucker. Mike arrived at lunch-time and he brought with him the new version of 'Update 9' which looked SUPERB! He also brought the mock-up page I did for 'Commodore Zone' last Friday. The screenshots looked brilliant! I left the Zone and went up the town with Mike. I got FeekZoids package posted along with the other goodies I got wrapped up. We then hit the photocopy place for some copies of 'Update 9' before amblimg along to Mikes house. I spent all my PC time today doing Star Trek labels for my Next Generation vids. I'll have to wait until tomorrow before I can see what they look like though. Ho hum. Once back home I nuked my tea which was ready at some stupid early time like 6:00pm Whaaaaat?! I got in at 6:30pm - nice and early so I wouldn't miss my tea and the git was sitting there going cold. (HEHE! I called a plate of food a git!) In the evening I watched a few soaps and as I was bubbling with excitement at the quality of 'Commodore Zone' I rang Jon Wells and we had a two hour chat about the mag. Plenty of ideas were bounced back and forth. I'm looking forward to creating the mag now!! Watched all of 'Die Hard' in bed as it was on Central. Bloody ace film. Kind of fell asleep after that - as you do! Bye-bye until tomorrow! From:- Kaburp. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday Jan 17th 1995. Brrt, brrt, brrt ... And Bertie blows up. Oh, hiya! I didn't see all you readers out there. I guess you will be after todays chuckles. Weeeeeell, not much of interest happened so I'll rack my brain for sommat to type. Fab bit of post this morning. Waz sent me 'Crash Head' on CD! Sodding classic it is too. It's got a splendid BLUE cover and you get two bonus tracks. One is a completely new track and one is a remix of 'Riding The Edge'. At last I have a proper album version of 'Darkness Comes' on CD. That brings the total of Mark Shreeve CD's I own to EIGHT. Radical! While I blasted out Shreeve zax I compiled all of Side 2 of the 'Mayhem' demo tape. I managed to fit an extra four programs on the tape so the inlay will need to be modified. The weather was piss-poor today. Very windy and rain lashed down. Yag! Mike rang to tell me he had printed my Trek labels but there was a big black line on them. Doi?! That does NOT sound good. Watched the 'Rocketeer' today. Great film. Jenny Connelly is gorgeous and the flying scenes RULE. It's so similar to Rocket Ranger, I just love that concept. I got ALL of part one of Alf Yngves 'OK Seuckers...' article typed up for 'Commodore Zone'. What I really need to concentrate on is the free promo flyer wotsit but I didn't get the chance to do that today. We had a pretty cool 'Quality Street' fight this evening. Plenty of Sweets being chucked around the room. Being hit in the face by a toffee slab isn't all that fun though. Arf arf! Obvious album of the day: 'Crash Head' (Shreeve). Babe of the day: Jennifer Connelly. Goooodbyeeeeeeeeee! From:- Kenznezznekk. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday Jan 18th 1995. 'Ello my British churmz. Not a particularly exiting day day. Received a letter from Damian Steele asking about MORE royalty dosh. Blimey, its only been several months since I last sent him some cash! HEHE! Anyway, he'll be quite surprised when he gets a cheque from me TOMORROW. Got a few boring orders sorted out and some copies of the mighty 'Update 9' in the post. FeekyZoid rang up. His package arrived safely and he loved 'Hired Guns'. I too was impressed with the lush presentation on that game. Collett also rang today. He was enthusing about blowing up a television set for 'Chortles II'. Huh huh! That would be COOL! Went to Mikes (again). My Trek labels DID have a black line on them. Also, the Federation logo I imported was glarged on every single label. SHITE! I tried to get them sorted and also tweaked 'Update 9' again. I even got some work done on the 'Commodore Zone' flyer! Hoorah! There's been a MASSIVE earthquake in Japan folks. They showed a city on the news and it looked like the 'future war' scene in Terminator 2! I'm not taking the piss folks, we are talking serious carnage here. About 3000 people have died. Not good. On that somber note I'll end todays banter. Chow fer now! From:- Kveg. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday Jan 19th 1995. Frisnit! Frisnit! Jism! Armpits! Whoah, today flew by like a flyie-byie thing. How much BZ work did I get done? Erm, not much. An interesting 'landslide' effect occured though chums:- I thought I'd knock together a package for Equinox right? I planned to enclose a new copy of my Amiga catalogue disk for him. Before copying it I added the 'Bait Masking' demo to the anim section (at long last) and then compiled the actual 'Bait Masking' disk. While doing this I got the idea to update the 'At The Movies' disk. Once this was done I put both disks away and spotted in the same box 'The Best Of Robb Hubbard' demo. As I hadn't loaded that for yonks I booted it and listened to some tunes including 'Ricochet'. I then remembered I had that game on the C64 so I loaded it and listened to the tune. I then had a go on the game which lasted about TWO HOURS!! Frig! From getting the idea to do a package for Equinox all that happened! Uh oh, this paragraph is getting a little bit massive. I'll start a new one. Had a brief ride on the 'Information SuperHighway' today. FeekZoid rang and I asked him if he still had Betrayers EMAIL details. He did so he left a message for Phil from me. Later in the day Phil rang me after seeing the EMAIL message from FeekZoid. COOL! Apparently, FeekZoid had a duff disk 2 for Hired Guns. As a surprise I hastily packaged up a new copy for him but I forgot to post it. DOLT! Mike brought my laser prints up in the afternoon and we had a big session on Tower Assault. A damn fine game when you get into it. In the evening I watched some telly. X-Files was kewl tonight. Got a call from Jason Kelk and we enthused about C64 type stuff. Then I tapped in this diary for you lot to read. Jolly good show eh cheps? Time to dash, there's a parking space in the land of nod with my name on it. Bye for a little while. From:- Captain Zep. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday Jan 20th 1995. Alright ya basts?! Several f'kin glarssis of wine and I'm swearing like a friggin' bleedah! Hic! Blelch! Wot went on today? Don't know, don't care! Hahahahahahaha! Ummmmmm, did sum wurk, went up the town, posted sum wurk, went home, got pissed on high volume vino, taped beeeeevis and bum-head and stuff like dat. Mucho funnnn or wot? Heyyy, I see those dancing birds on 'THE WORD' and all I can say iz ... 'Furry Bras'! Fak! What happened to that fit bird in the 'Spain' advert. They used to show a load of boringly crud Spanish stuff and then the advert ended with this REALLY FIT BIRD. Nowww there is no fit bird. LIFE SUX! Andycapp Robertskidaddle rang up and we talked about some stuff. It'll all come back to me eventually, once this grog has stopped playing silly bastads with my bwain. Ooooh yeh, gotta do him a vid. 'The Making Of Indy Records' or summut. Rad man! Totally tooooobular. I carnt fink of what else to type because my head izunt working in a normal volume of normality. I think I'm going to fall over and stuff like that. Goodshite dear reader fiends. From:- Oliver Reed. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday Jan 21st 1995. Did you spill my pint? Sorry about yeserdays diary entry gang, the grog monster stuck without warning. I've sobered up now so lets get on with things ... Today is Darcey Bussell day!! I watched 'Live & Kicking' and there she was! Much video recording was done this morning I can tell ya! I got a stellar sending from Phil this morning. He sent a blank tape for 'The Best Of MarkShreeve' (v3) and two disks of frightfully good warez! I think 'Update 9' is going to get a little bit bigger (AGAIN!) I actually did some WORK today. You know, boring stype stuff - writing letters, getting catalogues prepared etc etc. Did I win the national lottery? NO! And I spent the impressive sum of 1 POUND too. I only picked one of the winning numbers. EBOING! I compiled a FREEBIE FLIP-SIDE for 1995 today. Unfortunately, I couldn't fit Waz's 1995 demo on it. DOH! Irony rears its head there. In the evening I watched the film 'Final Analysis' which starred both Kim Basinger and Uma Thurman. Shwiiiiiing! The film dragged on a bit but wasn't all that bad. And that's it! Nothing more to report. CUL8R! From:- Mortal Kenzbat. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday Jan 22nd 1995. Welcome ... To the dungeon of Kenz. Sunny Sunday? Nope, dull and wet Sunday I'm afraid. Began recording 'The Best Of Mark Shreeve' (v3) this morning. I only got about three tracks sorted when Lee Adolf Albatross Colit appeared. He was brandishing THREE disks. One featured a cack beat-em up which was supposed to be awesome. It was pretty. (Pretty unplayable!) He also had the amusing Skidmarks Cow Simulator which RULES! You drive a cow round the track which is towing a caravan!! WEIRD! His final disk contained the LEE COLLETT GUIDE TO WOMEN which should be very interesting reading indeed! We departed from the Zone and collected Mez who opened his door with a loud "HA HAR!" Then we set out off to the mighty UCI CINEMA. I had my usual 'Zinger Meal Max' thingy at the KFC but I didn't get served by the babe with the immaculate complexion. After much rapid munching we hit the cinema for 'Interview With The Vampire'. A pretty darn fine film with mucho gore, TITS and splendid music which is more than a bit reminiscent of the Alien³ soundtrack! Good stuff. Once back home I watched the GOONIES for the first (and last) time. I got plenty more Shreeve tracks taped and then settled down in the evening to watch COMMUNION. A pretty neat film with THAT scene in it. You know, Alien peering round the edge of the door. SPOOOOOOKY! Track of the day. Finger F.O.C (Friends of Carlotta). And that's it. Bye for a bit mates! From:- Dracukenz. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday Jan 23rd 1995. Hello Goligump. I've got that Moooooonnnnnndddddaaaaayyyy fffffeeeeellllllliiiiinnnnnnggg! Well, not exactly a vast amount of post today. Actually, that isn't bad news because I am getting pretty much up to date with things. (Although I need to get some disk catalogues sent PRONTO!) In the morning I pottered around the Zone doing a package here, stuff for Commodore Zone there etc etc. I also sorted out my Next Generation tapes a bit. All of side 1 of the Shreeve tape is done. I'm up to 'Prototype' on side 2 (which is only the third track! Blah!) In the afternoon I met Mike and headed off into PC land. I added yet MORE to 'Update 9', did more to the Commodore Zone flyer (it STILL isn't finished!), tweaked the 'Mayhem' inlay and did a display thing for Antics. Something nasty was waiting for me at home ... Liver for tea!! Bloik! I watched the pilot episode of Babylon 5 in the evening. Sodding great stuff with kick ass music by Stewart Copeland! Delenn looks GROSS in it though. Of course, in the proper series she is pretty cute (for a Minbari). I taped 'FX2' after that which had the news stuck in the middle of it! WHICH BLOODY IDIOT THOUGHT OF DOING THAT?!?! It somewhat ruins the flow of a film when it stops for 35 minutes don't ya fink?! FeekZoid rang while the news was on and he played a storming module down the phone with EXCELLENT 'chip' sound as the main voice. MEGA! Oh, and I watched 'Film 95' which was a load of boring cobblers tonight. Sort of fell asleep after that. L8R dudez! From:- Kvagf. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday Jan 24th 1995. Greetings once again, So what did I get up to today then? Hmmmmmmm, well, irony reared its head once again today. I got over fifty quids worth of PD orders and I have exactly ONE blank disk left. Oh dear. Not surprisingly, I also hastily perpared an order for blank disks. Unfortunately, I forgot to take my brain up the town because I didn't put any money in the bank to pay for the disks. IDIOT! Looks like I'll be rushing up the town first thing tomorrow. the legacy of 'Update 9' also continues ... I compiled another THREE disks for it which left the single blank disk I just mentioned. I don't think Mike will be happy when I change it AGAIN. I got some C64 graphics ported for 'Commodore Zone'. I'm going to see if it's possible to use a C64 screen as the COVER! Eeeeeh, Brookside is kewl at the moment. They are about to dig up Trev Jordache (or what's left of him). OOO-EEE-OOO! Oh globbits, I don't know what else to type ... Ho hum. See ya tomorrow! From:- Kragnff. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday Jan 25th 1995. Greetings my friend. Make yourself comfortable by a crackling fire and pour yourself a tankard of fine mead as I spin the yarn of todays events. I began today by plodding up the town in the RAIN to pay some money into the bank. That'll teach me to forget things like that! Once back home I decided to get the Shreeve tape fully sorted so I spent quite a lot of time recording that. I did get it finished by the way ... I also got Betrayers copy done too! WOOOO! Tried a bit of an experiment ... I attempted to port FLI pictures onto the Amiga but failed miserably. Mutter, mumble, curse. I did manage to suss out the nifty 'ShowVIC' proggy though by the way. Mike didn't want to come here in the rain so I thought I'd give the game 'Kid Chaos' a bit of a blast. It's a pretty cool game although it's BLOODY HARD!! I got to the second 'world' but after MANY attempts I gave up trying to get through the maze. I almost threw my funpole around the room on that sodding level. Uh oh, I noticed a mistake on 'Update 9'. Hneuuuuuuuuuuurgh! I got some of the disk numbers mixed up. Hneuuuurgh! Eboing! Hneuuuurgh! I gave Mike a ring and asked him to change them. I hope he does or there will be ... TROUBLE! Would you believe that's it?! Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be a tad more exciting. Cheerio chums. From:- Kenzsnooze. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday Jan 26th 1995. Wotcha! I didn't go anywhere this morning because I was expecting a lovely box full of blank disks so I can do some WORK. Did they come? Did they bollocks. Next day delivery MY ARSE! Received Daley Thompson's Supertest from Waz this morning. It HAS got music by Galway! (Yeah, the bloody HyperSports music!!) Had a quick rip on Kid Chaos on the mig-mog and got out of the maze I mentioned yesterday. Didn't finish that level though. I also dug out 'Beyond The Forbidden Planet' on the '64 for a nostalgia trip. Completed it too! Am I 'Riggers' or what? Zzoomed to Mikes to collect the finished 'Update 9'. Well, the NEARLY finished 'Update 9'. I noticed a couple of things that could be improved. He has got 'Heretic' on his PC which is a fantasy 'Doom' style game. It's also rather splendid. I miss those glorious door sounds that you get in 'Doom' though. As today was so uneventful I'm not going to type any more. Sorry about the pifflingly short diary entry but when you are twiddling your thumbs waiting for disks to arrive there's not much to type about. Maybe tomorrow will be more fun. See you then! From:- Kegs. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday Jan 27th 1995. OO! It's the 27th today. My lucky day?! Well, I spoze it was quite lucky because MY DISKS ARRIVED!! I now have oodles of blank disks and two new printer ribbons so all my dumps are black. (HOHO!) I wouldn't say my old printer was worn out but it would only print in brail! Ahem. Armed with heaps of blank disks I got down to some serious copying and got one of my large orders sorted. I also did a package for Betrayer which contained his Shreeve tape and a package for Jon Wells which contained heaps of Galway stuff. In the evening me, Mez and Collett hit the pub for some serious japery. We filled out a questionaire which was prepared by Collett for issue 1 of the Xmas Chortles comic (Coming later this year!) I had a wonderful dream in the night. Darcey Bussell was in it. Sigh. I'm too knackered to tap any more text. Bye for a while! From:- Vermicious Knid. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday Jan 28th 1995. Greetings Mortals. I have had the ULTIMATE 'slob' day today folks. All I have done is EAT shite food and watch films. All day! Oh yeah, I did fall asleep in the middle of the day. After all, it is hard work watching TV and eating huh gang? In case you are wondering, I watched 'Return Of The Jedi', 'Total Recall' and 'Thelma & Louise'. The latter I hadn't seen before and I enjoyed every minute of it. Magnificent stuff. FeekZoid rang. He's composing tunes like billy'o. I don't have a problem with that. He also mentioned that he preferred Uma Thurman with black hair. A fine statement which I completely agree with. There you have it, that's all that happened today. May all my dreams contain Darcey Bussell. Goodnight. From:- Knivvle. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday Jan 29th 1995. Welcome one and all. Are you ready for more hoots and guffaws and I ramble on about what I got up to today? Well, I can't promise much in the way of hoots and guffaws but I'll certainly divulge todays events. I copied some disks today folks. That's unusual for me isn't it?! Well, my workload was piling up somewhat so I had a bash at clearing my 'in-tray'. Played my Cappella CD at some serious volumes. That should shift the dust from the top of my speakers. Also let rip some music from Peru (not from my ARSE!) They are the MASTERS of the sequencer. In the afternoon I got to work on a video for Android Spazms. I got all of the 'Making Of Raiders' sorted along with lots of Chortles japes. Now comes the fun part ... Filling the remaining 50 minutes! FeekZoid rang. He's completed ANOTHER module! And it just happens to a conversion of my favourite Last Ninja 2 tune. Choice! Watched 'Frost' in the evening. Pretty good sleuthing type stuff. Babe of the day:- That chick who skates around in the Halifax advert. Yawn. I'm shattered so I'm gone. Ciao. From:- Kebbagobbagibbagebba. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday Jan 30th 1995. DESTROY ALL LIFE!! Oh, sorry about that. I lost faith in the universe for a moment there. I'm all better now so I'll get on with this diary thing. Zzapped up the town first thing to get some Update 9's photocopied. I also posted the swag I got prepared on the weekend. Once back at the Zone I battled with my in-tray and now that I was armed with a plethora of new updates I got quite a few things sorted. This included a package for Waz - I returned his copy of 'Supertest' which I mentioned on Thursday. Visited the post-office AGAIN and then hit Mikes later in the day. (Mikes what? His HOUSE, fool!) I had a fiddle with my 'Next Generation' labels and farted around with the flyer for Commodore Zone. Rounded off the evening by watching Brookie. They found Trevor Jordache! He must be dripping freshly by now. Oh yeah, and the movie 'Someone to watch over me' was on. Mimi Rogers is a BABE! And she has looong legs. Let's be obvious and say:- Babe of the day:- Mimi Rogers. And that my dear friends, is quite frankly ... THAT. G'night! From:- Kersnoob. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday Jan 31st 1995. And so ... the last day of January 1995 is here. Bloody knackering day today chums. Went into Worcester first thing and started my day by having some grub at Macdonalds. (I'm a sucker for punishment!) I then went in to Antics for a good couple of hours. They now stock Binary Zone PD tapes on their shelves!! Kewl or what?! I then went a spent a rather scary £16.00 on photocopies. I have plenty of catalogues but no beer money. BOO HOO! Nipped back into Antics to give them some catalogues and who should I bump into? Lee Adolf Albatross Aardvark Artichoke Collett!! He was killing some College time and went to Macdonalds while I nipped off to meet Mike at his work place. Mike went back inside to do some printing so I ventured back to Macdonalds. Collett had just finished scoffing his 'Texas special' meal by the time I arrived. He was NOT impressed with his nosh. Me and Collett then went to meet Mike and I bought a sodding delish 'Doner Roll' for my lunch. Yummmmmmity-Slavver. Collett disappeared (as you do) and me and Mike returned to Droitwich. Played a bit of 'Tower Assault', ported some Speccy games and then departed for ... MIKES HOUSE! Once there we had some Spectrum chortles. (Bombjack ran like a dream on the PC). We then watched Jurassic Park and I had a rip on 'Heretic' afterwards. In fact, I had several rips that night. Must have been the 'Doner Roll'. My name is Jason 'Spicy fart fumes' Kenz at the moment. Finally, I returned home and typed in this little lot. PHEW! That's yer lot. See you next month! From:- Znezznekk. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-