Saturday April 1st 1995. Joppa Gamers! Your shoelace is undone ... APRIL FOOL! Is that your pound coin on the floor? ... APRIL FOOL! HAR-DE-HAR-HAR etc. Yes, it's April Fools day and I didn't fall for ANY. Ha! Android Robotnik rang and we had a good rattle about various happenings including some very dubious info about certain programmers which I will NOT be repeating here thankyouverymuch. 2 Unlimited were NOT on the 'Chart Show' AGAIN. BAAAH! I think they are at number 24 in the charts at the 'mo. I've just GOT to tape the video with Anita and her huge ... EYES. Compiled a rather nifty disk for Android called 'Going to the lav and making a smell'. It features the funky 'Chortle Kombat' previews and my two Beavis & Butt-Head anims along with some other swag. Then I got ready for a serious evening of BOOZE!! Yup, off to Birmingham I went to get thouroughly PISSED. I also got thrashed at Snooker (the tables are too bloody BIG!) and won rather splendidly at Pool and Darts. Unfortunately, playing darts when you are wrecked is NOT a good idea becuase I ended up hitting the FIRE EXIT sign, extractor fan and a loudspeaker. The loudspeaker was a CLASSIC because the dart got LOST inside it. We tried to fish it out by poking a finger through the hole the dart had made but we couldn't find it. We then ripped the front of speaker open but STILL couldn't get at the dart so we tore the whole speaker off the wall and SMASHED IT UP. We found the dart and hid what remained of the speaker under the Pool table. HOHO! Bloody vandals. Scoffed a large curry before ending up back at home. I hope 8 pints of grog won't have any lingering effect in the morning ... NOTE: This diary was NOT written while I was pissed. I collapsed into bed once home feeling a bit of wreck. Bye for now! From:- Kaos. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday April 2nd 1885. Throb! Ache! AAAAAAARGH! MY HEAD!! The worlds biggest hangover is HERE! I suffered ALL DAY with trench-head and it took until 10 o'clock at NIGHT to clear up. NO WAAAYYYYY! Spent the morning in bed saying 'Oh God' and suffering more than somewhat. Collett rang to see if I wanted to watch vids and scoff spare ribs and stuff and for some baffling reason I AGREED! Collett arrived to find me semi-conscious in the garden on a deck chair. We then went out and cruised in the sunshine ogling thrusty (thirsty?!) babes and sprung a surprise visit on Mez. Unfortunately he had some rellies visiting so me and Collett returned to the Zone to watch episodes of Babylon 5 and the X-Files. We played a nifty 'Bomberman' game and kept doing Bomber (from Auf Wiedersehen Pet) impressions. "That's what Bomber wants" ... etc etc. Had a massive chinkie (meal, not person) which sorted out my stomach and we had a chortle going through some junk video tapes. Found the ORIGINAL 'Mike Shaft' news report and stuff like that. Booted Collett out and then watched 'Tarrant On TV' which was almost funny. Then it was time for a hefty SNOOZE. Oh yas, it was a bag of laughs feeling like SHIT all day. Must do it again soon. (And I probably WILL!) I had LOTS of Paracetamol today. My liver will fall to bits! Goodshite. From:- Kucumber. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday April 3rd 1995. Don't ya just LURVE Mondays? Nope? Nor me. Any old how, FeekZoid has had this rather splendid idea to do a Beavis & Butt-Head module. This gave me the cunning idea to send him a load of classic bits from it on tape. Unfortunately, he needs them rather quickly so I spent YONKS crafting an audio tape for him. Had a chat with MATT in the evening - he of the 'disappear for 12 months' fame. He still hasn't seen the new version of 'Xmas Chortles' so I'll knock a copy together for him ... ANOTHER tape for me to compile. Mad Max was on tonight and although the film is kewl I decided to carry on doing Feekys tape rather than watch it. I was still hard at it (fnarr) until midnight - and it's still not finished! GAAAH! And that's all yer getting folks. Bit of a titchy diary entry. Ho hum. See yaaaaargh! From:- Kassette. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday April 4th 1995. No-one told me it's 'do everything in a rush day!' ... Todays priority was to complete FeekZoids audio tape and get the sucker posted. This was done with no probs and the inlay turned out rather well. Chuffed? I certainly was. I then got to work on Matts 'Xmas Chortles' and got the main movie on the tape before I had to dash around getting ready to go out. Went to my Dads in the afternoon. Had a bit of a chortle, scoffed lots of fish & chips and watched Babylon 5 which was MAGNIFICENT (but didn't tape it because I wasn't at home ... ARSE!) Played some SNES games. It must be said that SIM CITY on the SNES is a load of BORING CHEESY W*NK! Stopped overnight at my Dads place. I was on a sort of camp-bed thingy which SQUEAKED like crazy all night! Aaaaargh! Goodnight? No! Uncomfortable and squeaky night. From:- Kreaky Bed. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday April 5th 1995. Yowza dudelets! Was dropped back at the Zone first thing this morning which gave me oodles of time to work on Matts video tape. The end result was MEGA! I got all of the Chortles game on it and taped some squiffy demos for him too. I just hope he enjoys it. I gave the tape to Helen to pass on to Matt and she said she wants to watch it too! HEHE! Got about thirty five phonecalls from FeekZoid as he surfed the Net for goodies to send me. Apparently a package is on the way to me and it contains his new modules and some piccies of Scully. BRUTAL! Planned to start 'operation spring-clean' today in an attempt to get rid of some of this bloody DUST. Didn't get the chance though. I may begin tomorrow - depending on what Mr Postie brings. That's about it I think. Can't think of anything else to type so I'm gonna rack off now. (How do you 'rack off' by the way?) Adios Amiga. From:- Kurtain Rail. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday April 6th 1995. Hiya Scumbags! Today I decided to begin the mammoth task of removing all the brick dust from the Zone. I got myself psyched up to begin the huge 'spring clean' sesh but then I had an idea ... "I know, I'll clear a few BZ bits from my in-tray first". It was about 5 o'clock when I finally finished getting orders sorted. Aaaargh! Despite the time I went ahead and began to tidy up. WHAT A MESS I GOT IN! I moved the bed right out and hoovered behind it (HAIRS!) and re-wired all the junk that was under it. I then dismantled my cupboard (HUGE MESS) and got all that nice and clean. By the time I had finished I was KNACKERED and I've only done a teeny bit of the room. Tomorrow should see more of the Zone cleaned. I'm too knackered to type more so I'm gonna get some kip now. G'night! From:- Kleaner. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday April 7th 1995. Hey ho guyz and gurlz. Bloody sodding cleaners arrived at the crack of dawn. I was still in BED when they came. GrrRRrrRRrr. When they had pissed off I began some cleaning work of my own ... UH OH! MASSIVE ENORMOUS MESS ALERT! I totally dismantled my C64C and the desk it's on and I also took apart the big cupboard that's next to it. A cool thing happened when I was moving that cupboard ... All the stuff fell out the front of it and the top of it fell to bits. What a groovy and somewhat amusing cupboard I have. Am I lucky or what?! Eeeeh, FeekZoids package arrived today. Lots of bosting new modules are mine but some of the stuff on the PC formatted disks didn't work. Oh well, you can't have everything. All the modules worked fine and they KICK ASS! This spring-clean stuff took all day but at least the place is a little less dusty now. Rad! I also had a 'label the disk time' and got some Amiga software sorted. Phew! I'm just a whirlwind of cleanliness at the moment. Hmmmmmmyumyumyum. Spare ribs for tea. I love chinese takeaway scram. And now I'm offski to bed. Sorry there's not much to read but if you had been tidying up ALL DAY then typing in this shite may not seem to be a good idea. This place STINKS OF POLISH by the way! G'night. From:- Something funny that begins with 'K'. (HEHE!) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday April 8th 1995. "That's not what Bomber wants". Well gang, My Amiga has just crashed for the FIRST TIME this year while I typed in a diary entry. Here I go AGAIN with all the stuff I tapped in a minute ago. Snarl! What caused the crash? I was playing a Feeky module and the weird ending he put on it completely crashed Quadraplayer which trashed all the text I had typed. Gah! And I was going to vote the mod that was playing (IN-NO-SENSE) the 'track of the day' too! Anyway, woke up at 9 o'clock (AM) which is quite late for me. All the pithering around doing tidying yesterday must have knackered me. Collett rang enthusing about buying a PC so I decided we should consult the mighty PC oracle 'Mr Mike' for more info. Collett arrived in the knackered green chevette he's borrowing while his usual car is being glued back together. We had a good rattle to Mike and discovered we need to find a thousand quid to buy a PC. Great. On the way back from Mikes we spotted Mez trudging along so I dove out the car and attacked him. We dropped him off at the train station because he was on his way to Worcester to buy "A handsome pair of strides" ... By the way, Worcester is our version of 'Yabbie Creek' (that keeps getting mentioned in Home & Away). Chortle! Once back at the Zone I revealed my plans to do FIVE slideshows for the Amiga!! They are:- X-Wing, Rebel Assault, Dark Forces and DANA SCULLY (All AGA only) and the SNES Slideshow (All Amigas). Should be fun. (?) Kev did a classic today. He burst into my room and farted on Collett. Meet 'Uncle Kev' Lee! Collett left the Zone (not because of the fart I might add) and I had a bit of a game of garden cricket with everyone downstairs. Slogged some balls REALLY FAR over the fence (accidentally). Oops! Some gumbys from a PD library in Ireland rang today spouting a load of rubbish. They were giggly, shy little kids who were overwhelmed by my celebrity status. Ho hum. Watched 'The new adventures of Lois Lane in the evening'. Shwwiiing! Also watched the an early Trek episode and of course, 'Auf Wiedersehen Pet' which was okay. Not a classic episode I'm afraid. Toodlepip for now. From:- Krash. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday April 9th 1995. Gulp! Fret! I just switched on my Amiga 1200 and was greeted with a totally GREEN SCREEN. All the graphics had glarged and none of the colours were right. UH OH! I tried removing and re-inserting various cables and but that didn't help. I then thought ... "Knackered graphics chip time". I then discovered the problem. One of my SCART leads wasn't quite pushed in right. DURR! EBOUNG! (EBOUNG?) HNEUUURRRRRRR! Spent most of today doing more BLOODY CLEANING! Arrrgh! The smell of polish is almost overwhelming in here!! I cleaned my windowsill, three shelves, main desk, Amiga stuff, C64 stuff and all my stereo gear. It's starting to get a little bit SHITE doing all this cleaning. Lucky I'm almost finished huh gang?! (Only the VIDEO SHELVES to do). Andy Spandex just rang. We wibbled on about heaps of stuff. The "Bag Of Sweets" demo should be a grin. I must remember to do his C64 disk tomorrow. That's all I can be bothered to type for now. I'm gonna watch an old Star Trek episode in bed as I'm going through a 'Classic Trek' phase. (You know, Kirk, Spock, crap effects etc). COOL! Live long and perspire. From:- Kumquat. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday April 10th 1995. Greetings once again mortals. Couldn't face cleaning the video shelves today so I had a huge session clearing out my in-tray. Didn't do too badly either. Got a package for Andrex Robot sorted out and enclosed five smelly choccy footballs that I found while cleaning out my cupboards the other day. Chortle! Thought I'd use the local post-office rather than plod all the way up the town but as I was walking these rather tasty, thrusty, tight top, hungry arse girls walked in front of me so I decided that walking up the town might be a good idea after all. LETCH! Didn't do much in the evening. Watched more classic Trek and then crashed into me bed (well, I didn't crash into it, I sort of just got in). Hmmmm, my throat feels a bit sore tonight. Bah. G'night! From:- The Kurgan. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday April 11th 1995. GROAN! I am totally UNWELL! I've got trench head and a sore throat. Didn't do ANY work today, just stopped in bed mostly. As the weather is SODDING LOVELY I ventured up the garden and lay on a sun lounger. This was pretty funky as it cleared my head a bit but my throat is still phlegm-tastic. When I was putting the sun lounger away it fell off the garage wall and hit me in the FACE! (It 'skonned my brew'!) This did NOT improve my mood and I sort of smashed it up and threw it across the garage. I didn't get mad, I got EVEN! Eeh, Brookie is kewl as BETH is back in it. Home & Away sucks though because Sarah is GONE! No more thrusting orbs and 9 fingers hair. ARGH! Oh yeah, watched 'Heartbreak High' for the first time today. This real cute babe called Katie (I think) was doing power-dancing everywhere. At least I got my 9 fingers hair fix for the day! I'm going to cough and suffer a bit more now. Ciao for niao! From:- Kripple. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday April 12th 1995. Hibbedy Hobbedy. Crap post today chums, got a letter from a spaz who can't write properly and massive wad of stuff from the Inland Revenue. Yeee-urkkk! Still feel like shite. Mr Phlegmycough is still residing in my throat. Did some of the work that should have been posted yesterday. I then hiked up the town on full 'babe-alert' but was very disappointed by the turnout of clout. (!) After being punched in the face by the sunlounger yesterday I decided NOT to laze around in the garden today. They should do something about aggressive garden furniture. In the evening I compiled the 'Dana Scully Slideshow' and then promptly corrupted the whole thing! Luckily I managed to salvage it but it was a VERY close shave. Finally, watched the last episode of 'Harry'. It featured a FIT bird from a car advert and a surprise appearance from FRAN! I'm off to skull some cough medicine now. Bye! From:- Kream Cake. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday April 13th 1995. Oo-ee-oo! It's the 13th. There's scary monsters coming to get me. Well, if they do then they'll catch the fraggin' PLAGUE. HAHAHAHAR!! Got the Zone prepped even more for the looming visit from Feeky. The ace musician supremo will be arriving at the Binary Zone TOMORROW! What else did I do? Felt ill, umm, jumped up and down, shook, rattled and rolled, did starjumps ... (Kenz is blathering a bit - he doesn't know what to type! HEHE!) Okay, I'll admit it, didn't do much today because I feel like poo. I just hope Phil doesn't try to shake me free. Enough spacefilling. BEGONE! From:- Kornholio. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Friday April 14th 1995. "Hello there" (Said Obi-Wan to Artoo). Note the 'Medical Log' thingy above. I'll keep using that until this impossible illness has left my being. This diary will soon start sounding like an episode of 'Cardiac Arrest' (Except it won't feature a tasty bird with large breasts and an ATTITUTE). Bought lots of Easter eggs today. Hmmmm, All that lovely packaging. Oh look, you get a little bit of chocolate inside too. That's nice. And then it was time for the big event. FeekZoid arrived exactly on time and titans once again clashed. (Ummm). As soon as we arrived at the Zone we left it for an even more fun place (nearly) - THE PUB! Sooo, who was there? Smiley babe - AGAIN! Do they PAY her to drink there? Whenever I go in there, whatever the day she is ALWAYS there. Not that I'm complaining of course. There was also a really tasty redhead in a tightastic white top. As I feel as unwell I didn't drink very much. There goes my ROCK image. Byesiebye. From:- Kupboard. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Saturday April 15th 1995. Throb! Wince! Yox! GrooOOooOOooOOooaaAAaannnn. I feel 'crappenshite'. Despite my spasticitis me and the FeekZoid got down to the job at hand and began copying every piece of magnetic media we could find. A sodding LARGE parcel arrived at the Zone this morning. It contained tons of FeekZoids C64 disks! He arranged for his mummy to post it from Aviemore so it arrived while he was staying at my (public) domain. The lumpy package contained lots of desirable swag including unfinished Shreeve renditions, the digi bits he did for Top Priority 2 and even the amazing intro tune he did for the doomed 'Last Ninja 4' Jon Wells project. As I feel like Hiroshima when a bomb just 'dropped in' I didn't copy any of the above software. SWEAR WORDS! VIOLENCE! "Twilight is upon me". Can't type any more. Need more medicine. From:- Klive Sinclair. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Sunday April 16th 1995. Splutter! Heave! A day of noise, copying stuff and general chaos. I feel completely and utterly appalling so I can't say I enjoyed it much. You really have no idea how angry I am at being so ill at this moment in time. Notice the slight lack of jollity in this somewhat unexpansive diary entry. That is because I feel (and look) like Emile from RoboCop "Heelllppp Mmmmmeeee". This transmision ends ... NOW. From:- Koronary =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Monday April 17th 1995. Cough! Hack! Well, the final day of the somewhat unsuccessful FeekZoid visit has arrived. The clock I was watching to make sure he didn't miss his coach was totally wrong so I almost shat myself when I saw the right time. Feeky departed at 9:00. Hope he wasn't too disappointed with my lurgified display over this weekend. It was so frustrating as there were loads of great things I wanted him to check out and I just SUFFERED severely. BASTARD F**KING ILLNESS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHH. I then spend the rest of the day in bed choking, coughing and generally writhing around as my head hammered in pain. I drank gallons of water from my big jug (!) which I'm getting quite fond of! (???) Nothing more to add because nothing else happened. Good(?)bye. From:- Kancer. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Tuesday April 18th 1995. Gasp! Splutter! I really think I got absolutely NO SLEEP AT ALL last night. I just lay awake tossing, turning and sweating. (I was reading through a large collection of jazzmags - not!). Spent most of the day bed as I am incapable of doing much else. Had a mass fit of coughing which led to a whammy headache. Oh GOD I hate being ILL! I hope I don't get whatever this is again ... EVER. Watched a nifty film in bed this morning. It was called 'Mysterious Island' and there was giant crabs in it 'n stuff. Strangely enjoyable. Saw the doctor in the afternoon. I reeled out my list of problems and all I got was a piddly bottle of tablets and some MINTOES! Yup, he prescribed mintoes to soothe my throat and surprisingly they work quite well. There's a bug going round which is all I've got. I reckon I've got the queen momma bug in me! Oh, it said on the tablet bottle label 'NO MILK'. No milk? At all? Even in tea? If I don't drink tea then surely I will die ... ! Why do I crave EGG SANDWICHES at the moment? (Plarphle). Anyway, I'm outa here. From:- Korky the Kat. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Wednesday April 19th 1995. Cough, cough, COUGH! Will I have to keep coughing FOREVER?!?! Oh, and how long do I have to endure having trench-head? I looked in the mirror this morning and was quite surprised to see Leper Lenny looking back at me. I think I actually got a bit of sleep last night so maybe this illness hasn't killed that ability after all. Ker-unnchhhh. An unfeasably enormous pile of post arrived today including a massive jiffy-bag from Andrex Robot which I think I may LIVE in as it's so big. Well, quite big. It contained an early preview of the Galway menu doohicky which was, erm, early! Didn't actually do any work because my brain still hurts (and now my EAR is malfunctioning too. ABRASIVE LANGUAGE!) Sorted out the Zone a bit. It looks like Boots - the chemist in here. Watched Cardiac Arrest in the evening. Seeing about eighty people die made me think "should I be moaning about my little illness"? Bloody YES! Finally, spent the of a the at (cobblers) ... Start again. Finally, spent a generous serving of time reading through Andy Roberts' March '95 diary. It was great seeing lots of 'Kenz-phraseology' used throughout and I was somewhat fascinating seeing life through some-elses keyboard. (Hey Andy, maybe you didn't dig out (!) that girly you scoped because you eat tuna sandwiches you do). I'm tired. I'm going to cough in bed now. Ciao! From:- Ker-ough! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Thursday April 20th 1995. Ooooh, woe is me. What have I done to deserve this particular brand of the lurgey? I mentioned yesterday that my ear is sodding malfunctioning. I can't hear properly, and I've got a high-pitched whine in my head all the time. Shit! Moped around the place feeling sorry for myself. I am ill so therefore I do not want to do ANYTHING. I did have a look at my in-tray which is growing at an alarming speed. Sorry Zoners, I'm in no fit state to work. Maybe soon ... Bollucks to this. I'm off. From:- Klyde. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Friday April 21st 1995. Alright? I'm not. Another rough night for me. This illness is draining my lifeforce. HELP! Was woken up by the cleaners smashing their way round the house this morning. BASTARDS. It took a while to exhume myself from bed and as I have no energy didn't fancy doing much. The weather was looking damn fine so the words "garden", "lounger" and "laze around" leaped to mind. I wasn't attacked by the lounger this time although it is a tad broken. Spent lush hours just lying in the sun - RECOVERING. Read this great book about mysterious things. Almost felt a bit good - despite my entire aching body. The problem with my ear is still bugging me (vague pun intented). I think my brain is melting. The high-pitched whine in my head is NOT cool. (I'd much prefer a glass of wine in my head!) In the evening I had another comedy overload. I watched Father Ted which was obscure, Jack Dee which was kewl and the first in the new seried of 'Have I got news for you' which wasn't that good tonight. Tried a new cure this evening. It's called BEER. Due to my lethargic state I'm going to stop tapping now. Bye-bye! From:- Kwirkafleeg. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Saturday April 22nd 1995. "Shields up, red alert!" It's no good folks, my in-tray is bulging so I really need to do some work so ... I did. A piffly little bit I'll admit but at least I made a start. Just as the energy gap loomed the phone rang. It was Waz. He wanted to meet up with me on his way back from a record fair! I summoned my last remaining dregs of energy and hauled myself up the town. Found Waz at the station and we had a rather fun afternoon blasting out Amiga music. Unfortunately, when I dumped Waz back at the station he missed his train by about 30 seconds. SHITE! An hour of wandering around ensued as we waited for the next train. He finally departed and I bought a kebab roll which I nuked for my tea. Yummy scram. Time for me to skull lots of antibiotics now. Will that bloody sodding bottle of tablets ever end? My ear is still beeping by the way. Chow fer now. From:- Kloip. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Medical Log - Sunday April 23rd 1995. Welcome my friends. Feel a bit better today although I still have NO energy thanks to those massive pills Dr Doom gave me. Got more work sorted out including some BZ tapes and even a Psytronik price-list thingy which I DIDN'T want to do - but did. Luvverly cooked Sunday lunch type thing today. Huge pork chops with lashings of gravy. Sound. Gave Andrex Robot a ring in the evening to discuss the Galway music doohicky, the Waz visit and bizarre things to shove in jiffy bags. Tried to watch Indy Jones & the last crusade but couldn't be arsed to watch it all so I watched the Baftas instead. That poncy load of wank film '4 Weddings' got about 5000 awards and beat the magnificent 'Pulp Fiction' more than once. Fak that. On those momentous thoughts I will swallow a large tablet and sleep like a sleepy thing. Goodnight followers of the Zvenz. From:- Kricket Bat. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Monday April 24th 1995. "He's dead Jim". Well, not quite. Looky here gang - I've dropped the 'Medical Log' title from the diary. At long last I am starting to feel like myself again. (No, I didn't say 'feel myself' you perv-berts - but I did say LOG). Somehow managed to cobble together a package for Andy Robot. I hope he enjoys his WHISKY flavoured stick of rock. Guffaw! Got heaps of BZ bits ready to be posted and then I journeyed bravely up the town to get rid of them. Purchased a large amount of paracetamol, some pop (Coke - it's the real thing), tapes, sprouts (not really) etc. SHE was in WHSmiths. Didn't make any moves though. Still feel a bit shitty (and look it too - hence the avoidance of nice girly). Didn't do much else. Had a bit of an early night to shake off the remains of my disease. G'night! From:- Kenzznekk. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Tuesday April 25th 1995. "My game's kick the can!!" Don't make me laugh! It kills! Feel very stiff (fnarr) inside thanks to pulling a muscle or ten while coughing so I haven't lurched around too violently today. Crashed into the energy gap and totally, like, FELL ASLEEP on the settee in the lounge. Dunno why. Maybe I was tired. (Nyeeuurrrr). Made a VERY late start on my BZ stuff but got a few bits done. Plodded to the LOCAL office as I couldn't be arsed to traipse all the way up the town. Nothing exciting happened on that trip though. Oh yeah, I bought some pop (Coke again - I love that stuff). Spoke to everyone on the phone today. Mike rang, he was sloshed, Feeky rang, he was surfing the net, Andy Roberts rang, his disk was flanted, Jason Kelk rang, he's got some demos I WANT! In the evening I started my definitive list of FeekZoid Amiga modules. There's 41 of the suckers and I'm going to do a mini review of them ALL! Final note, if you feel ill then DRINK BEER! Toodlepip from:- Karling black label. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Wednesday April 26th 1995. "Well, there's two Banthas down there ..." Hey ho readers, Continued the legacy of reviewing FeekZoids modules today. I just hope he likes what I wibble on about because I'm quite critical of some of the mods. Most of them get a glowing report though which is rather funky. Also did some work type stuff. BOOORING. I got a massive order which included heaps of blank disks. Unfortunately the silly billy ordered more disks than I'd actually got so a rapid order to my supplier was duly sent. Didn't have much fun up the town. Had to wait ages in the photocopy place AND I WAS THE ONLY PERSON IN THERE!! Some blokes were pithering around with the copier. BAH! Bought large quantities of food including a POT NOODLE which I quite enjoyed (shock!) and I choffed an entire box of cadburys fingers. HA! In the evening I continued to work on the Feeky module list thing and I also tried to compile an adventure tape but failed miserably because NOTHING would load back in. I HATE TAPES!! I nearly chucked the bloody thing at the wall but didn't to avoid poster rippage. Watched Cardiac Arrest. Dr Claire Maitland really is quite lovely. I wish she could have looked after me while I was suffering from that OUTBREAK! Then I came over all tired so I troddled off to beddie-byes. G'night. From:- Kloppa Kastle. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Thursday April 27th 1995. "He's covered with nose blow!" Greetings fiends. The ever-present looming in-tray was given a little bit of attention this morning. I also began the mammoth task of writing a time-list of all the Star Wars music I taped while FeekZoid was here. In the end I managed to do ALL of Star Wars and a little bit of Empire. This is a task I can do while I copy BZ goodies for everyone in the world. Finally got the FeekZoid module list finished. He got me to read the module reviews down the phone (all 41 of them!) and seemed quite happy with it. I only gave about two modules an iffy review. Ain't I kind. In the afternoon I was whisked off to my Dads place because it's his birthday today. A while ago he did a CLASSIC thing. He thought the car window was OPEN so he hocked a massive loogey. Unfortunately, the window was CLOSED. Sper-latt! Dribble! This made me laugh somewhat which was a bit painful because of my legendary pulled muscle ... ! We went out for an Italian meal in the evening. I had the worlds biggest bolognaise pizza which was verily rather tasty. Couldn't quite eat the whole thing because it was as big as something that has just won a prize for being large. Oh yeah, I watched an episode of 'Chiller'. What a load of pants that program is. About as scary as getting dressed. (Hunh?!) Then I was dropped back at home and I leaped straight into bed because I was KNACKERED and my legendary pulled muscle was freaking out. Only a couple more of those bastard antibiotic pills to go. YESSS! Seee yooo. From:- Clark Kent. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Friday April 28th 1995. Hello Strangelings, welcome to the party. Cleaners alert (again). Raise shields, arm photon torpedoes. Actually, their wrath wasn't too bad today so I won't blather on about them. Bwah! Richy Rich arrived in the morning and the game 'Pinball Illusions' somehow appeared on my hard-drive. (Ahem!) Anyway, the game isn't bad. Very pretty etc but it's just another pinball sim rather like the previous two efforts. The game looks a bit tasty in HI-RES which is a new option. Oooooh, lots of yummy blank disks arrived this morning. Now perhaps I can sort that order that came on WEDNESDAY. (Oops!) Copied lots of Feeky mods for Rich and he went away happy with his new aquisitions. As soon as he was gone Mike arrived and I taped an episode of Babylon 5 for him. My video was not naughty while I copied it which makes a bloody change. It keeps putting wobbly teletext stuff on the screen while I copy tapes for some baffling reason. Me and Mike departed rapidly and headed for his humble abode. When we got there we were just in time to see Colletts car moving rapidly away. I ask ya, some people can't wait for two minutes. Grumble, fume! Anyway, Collett spotted me so he turned around, picked me up and then drove 100 yards to Mikes house. We then scoped out 'Terror Of The Deep' (UFO2) which was rather like the first UFO game only 1,000,000 times faster on a Pentium PC. (Fume, envy etc). It was a bit scary when I returned to the Zone. It was like the bloody Marie Celeste! The garage was open and there was gear all over the front garden but no-one was in! Spooky. It turns out the oldies had nipped to buy some DIY type stuff from Texas. Oh, how very interesting. Watched a huge heap of TV in the evening which rules. Beth was looking well tasty tonight. She has a nice arse. (Just thought I'd mention that). Cooked masses of grub late at night. Pizzatastic! Nowt else happened really. Bysiebye. From:- Kaburble. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday April 29th 1995. "Achtung! You vist da hat!" Hello there little people out there. "Get yourself some domination" say the mighty Bigod 20 who are battling with my speakers at the moment. Busy, busy, busy day today. Now that I'm off the antibiotics it means I can drink MILK again so I had a massive bowl of FRUIT & FIBRE for breakfast. Unfortunately it was BLOODY HORRIBLE. Oh well, at least it makes you poo. (!) I currently have in my possesion the new Highlander CD which contains the unreleased orchestral scores from all three films. I taped the sucker but I reckon the only music worth listening to is from the first (and best) Highlander film. Anyway, thanks to Collett for lending it to me. Collett and Mez arrived at around 11 o'clock and I gave Mez a tape which Waz made for him. Mez was most bemused but seemed happy with this unexpected gift. We then began our trip to the mighty city of BIRMINGHAM. A classic happened in Colletts car. We had a BANANA FIGHT! Mez hid a smelly banana skin under the sun-visor and Collett unleashed it on my lap. The banana skin was then slapped all round the car and was bunged at each other. The remains were then ejected out the window. What a grin! Birmingham was pretty kewl. I purchased a rather splendid 'X-Files' t-shirt. (Couldn't find one with Scully on it though ... Bah!) I also bought some blank tapes (yer-aaawwwwn), the Bigod 20 single of 'ONE' (Yippeeeee! That's what I'm blasting at the mo) and I even found a 2 Unlimited poster. I'm going to give that the serious SCISSORS treatment and get rid of Ray, thus ending up with a 10" x 8" frameable picture of Anitas rather pretty face. The poster only cost 2 quid which is what I pay for my 10" x 8" babe prints anyway. Auf Wiedersehen Pet was a bit of a classic tonight. Droitwich got mentioned TWICE! This town must be hipper than what I thought. Oh my word, a day of action and that's all I can think of to write. My name isn't Terry Pratchett. He is a most prolific author. I'm going to go away now. Goodbye. From:- Kapricorn. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Sunday April 30th 1995. Crash! Crunch! Glarge! Urble! That was the sound of the month of April smashing to bits as it reaches the end of its poxy 30 day life-span. What a CRAP MONTH. I have spent most of it being SODDING ILL. April 1995 was a load of SHITE. So there! Any old how, I got that BIIIIIG order all finished but couldn't wrap it up because some FIEND has used up all my sellotape. Oh FLAPS! I've got to go all the way up the town first thing tomorrow just to buy some poxy, naffing sellotape. FROTTAGE. I also dug out (!) a pile of letters from Waz and sorted out the various bits and bobs he wanted. Once again my lack of tape prevented a package from being completed. HARSH LANGUAGE! All these failed attempts at work made me want to KILL SOMETHING so in went the playable demo of 'Gloom'. It's actually quite good! It's a blatant 'Doom' clone and when you shoot the bad guys they splatter everywhere! Vital organs fly up in the air and all the mess stays where it lands. Aaaaaah, much fun. I felt a lot better after that. Suddenly came over all 'Alien Syndrome' so I launched it into the C64. Not only was I very out of practice but I forgot how HARD that game is. The scrolling is too SLOW. I didn't get very far. Ho hum. Still on the C64 I had a rip (HEHE!) on 'Shadow Of The Beast'. Once I had got past the boring first bit I was surprised to see the huge grasping hands from the Amiga version which were a bit impressive. All the weirdo monsters seem to have been included from the Amiga version. Good call! I actually had a go on the Amiga version but it doesn't work on the A1200. ARSE! Watched the film 'Don't tell mom the babysitters DEAD' which was okay I spoze. A couple of hours watching Christina Applegate is time well spent in my opinion. Sloo! And that was Sunday. The end of a day, the end of a month. See you in May my friends. From:- Ker-BING! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-